DailyTimes | Satire: Pakistan used pigeons, mules to perpetrate Uri attack: Indian officials

Satire: Pakistan used pigeons, mules to perpetrate Uri attack: Indian officials

‘The pigeons were controlled through specialized electronic devices and dynamites were tied to their bodies in this latest ‘fidayeen’ style attacks’
Satire: Pakistan used pigeons, mules to perpetrate Uri attack: Indian officials

NEW DELHI: In a startling revelation, Indian officials have claimed that pigeons and mules were used in yesterday’s Uri attack. World authorities have condemned the attack and, according to reports, have finalised the decision to declare Uri a no-fly zone for birds after the attack.

“The pigeons were controlled through specialized electronic devices and dynamites were tied to their bodies in this latest ‘fidayeen’ style attacks. The pigeons had Pakistan flag painted on them,” claimed a senior Indian intelligence officer on the condition of anonymity.

Mules tied with jets were also used to attack the Army camp at Uri to support the highly armed militants. “All mules have now been neutralized as well,” Indian army officials claimed.

This is not the first time that Pakistan has used pigeons against India and earlier, Pigeons were used for surveillance and espionage purposes against India as well.

“Pellet guns have proven to be successful in neutralizing both armed pigeons and unarmed civilians. Pellet guns were used to shoot down the pigeons and limit the damage inflicted on the army camp,” explained an Indian army official.

India will now be taking this issue to the UN and will protest against Pakistani pigeons and other means of terror used by the neighbouring country.

Furthermore, according to sources India’s name is also being added to the Guiness Book of World Records for the shortest time taken to blame another state for a militant attack. According to statisticians the blame was placed on Pakistan, 4 minutes and 51 seconds after the attack thereby making India the only country to complete an investigation in less than 5 minutes.

According to Guiness Book of World Records the previous record was held by Pakistan when Balochistan Chief Minister Sanaullah Zehri accused Indian intelligence agency RAW for the Quetta hospital bombing on August 8 11 minutes and 24 seconds after the attack.

 

This article originally appeared in Khabaristan Times and has been reproduced with permission.