Child sexual abuse is a rising epidemic in Pakistan. The biggest case appeared in Kasur district in 2015.
Although the subsequent news was an eye-opener, it didn’t change the abuse culture that much national or internationally.
Zainab Ansari was one of many other episodes of this series of abuse.
The emotions, honor, and religious and social norms translate into the widespread condemnation of these acts.
But, alas, no one takes the matter seriously.
Yes, no one.
Religious clerics, political authorities, and self-proclaimed representatives of the society, all keep their mouth shut about how they can eradicate this societal disease.
If they have done so, they would have taken the scientific approach of diagnosing the disease and curing it.
They, together with the society-at-large, had not shown interest in the reasons behind this issue. The education of children has gone unattended. And people still find solace in victim-blaming.
Why would they do so?
Why wouldn’t they address the real issue instead of pointing fingers at the attire of the abused or sick mentality of the culprit?
It’s because addressing the root cause needs huge efforts from all the stakeholders.
After all, we shall have to change our whole perspective about parenting and nurturing a new generation. We will have to question centuries-old believes and practices. And above all, we will need to understand that children are human beings, just in smaller bodies.
We will have to trust to fight the distrust prevalent in the air.
How can we do this? How can we raise a voice against a child’s sexual abuse when we are the ones who start this abuse in its mild form?
No, don’t be shocked because you already know its truth.
You know that the seed of the sexual abuse, or any other abuse from the external world, is implanted by distrust from families.
You know that it’s us who tell the child that it’s their duty to hide familial secrets. We promote secrets as a social norm. And then we complain when they fail to report initial incidents of sexual abuse from strangers or extended family.
We suppress them and emotionally abuse them. We use threats and manipulations to help them guide towards the goals that we have set for them. And in doing so, we ingrain in their minds that we are the authority. Our behaviors tell them time and again that we are their biggest critics. And we leave no safe space for them to vent their emotions. They are left with no one who will support them during or after the act of transgression.
We tell them that their right is public property (or at least familial property). We invade their physical boundaries using conventional tools of corporal punishment, forced hugs and kisses, and unsolicited roughhousing. They soon start believing that their bodies are not just their bodies and they normalize the act of this invasion from strangers. And then when strangers invade the same boundaries which we have invaded for years (I admit, in a different way), we mourn the lost innocence.
Can we answer the toughest question here? When was this innocence lost? When we told the children that they don’t own a single asset in this world not even their bodies? Or when the strangers validated the belief we already have instilled in these children?
Many people will argue that real loss lies in perpetration from strangers. And this response clearly explains the mentality of our countrymen. Unfortunately, we are ready to bring new souls in this world but we are not ready to take the responsibility that comes with these souls.
The writer is a productivity enthusiast who in on a mission to help entrepreneurs and solopreneurs in achieving their business goals through focus, grit, and motivation. When he is not advocating smarter work, he is traveling the world or journaling his achievements in the self-growth arena on his blog.