Why do I feel qualified to talk about depression? No, I am not a clinical specialist. But yes, I know more about depression than a regular clinical analyst. I haven’t done any detailed research on depression, yet I feel as if I know it like a baby that I carried in me for an unspecified time period. I have been through depression. Or maybe, I was depression. It felt like my synonym.
Let me try to walk you through my long journey. I was 24 years old when I first started feeling empty. I would sleep for hours but I would wake up drained. It was like an endless, pitch-dark night with no sign of dawn and an infinite pain somewhere I could not spot or get any relief from. As a child I had heard of the monster that lived under the bed; it now lived in me, or probably, on me. No matter how hard I try to find words and adjectives to explain my thoughts, I feel inadequate.
Depression can happen to anybody regardless of their economic condition, relationship status or social networking
On the brighter side, all those empty visions, lost moments and inner disconnections were energising me to fearlessly lay out that never-ending journey of pain to anyone who didn’t understand that intense clinical issue. Now, years later, after a successful battle against my chronic depression, I feel like an encyclopaedia of myths and realities.
One of the most important things to remember is that every state of sadness is not depression. There is a fine line between sadness and depression. Not every time we shed tears can be conceived as depression. It is not a feeling that goes away soon. It is a time-consuming process.
Depression is not a by-product of being away from Islam. It is natural. It is normal. It is something that in the form of sadness some prophets also experienced. But yet, we evaluate victims of depression with phrases like “You don’t believe in Allah,” Have faith in Allah,” “Don’t be ungrateful,” “Hopelessness is a sin.” Having been a victim of depression until some years ago, I can vouch that it is, undoubtedly, one of the deadliest states you could ever encounter. It is as inherent to human race as is to exist, and as ancient as is human history. My mother narrated to me the story of Prophet Yaqoob (pbuh);when he was separated from his son, Prophet Yousef (pbuh) he cried so miserably he lost his eyesight. I remember feeling physically visionless during depression.
Now doesn’t that show sadness is a real emotion to feel and it doesn’t go away by just expressing it? It also justifies grieving as a real process, a heritage of mankind. Our Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) felt sadness in his heart and cried multiple times. He cried at the death of his son Ibrahim.
He cried, many times, during his prayers. He cried when he saw the martyrdom of his grandsons in his dream.
It feels so good to cry when down with depression. Cry out loud, cry to myself, and cry a lot more. Depression is more than just a feeling of being down in the dumps or feel blue for a few days; it is losing interest in what normally relaxes you. In such a situation when somebody asks you what’s wrong, you reply with either “I am not well,” “I don’t feel happy,” or “I feel Iam failing.”
One of the most important things to remember is that every state of sadness is not depression. There is a fine difference between sadness and depression
“I’m good.” “Everything is okay.” “I will be fine tomorrow.” These are a few of the replies that you tend to immediately reply with. Depression is more than feeling sad; the misconception our society believes is that it is sadness and it will go away. Depression can happen to anybody regardless of their economic condition, relationship status or social networking. A person having it all can fall into depression as well. Sometimes, everything is perfect, and you fall in depression.
Depression is a phase that comes and goes but it keeps striking you every now and then. Depression is a misunderstood disease. It is just like when you get fever, you go to a doctor for medical aid and get yourself treated. How to figure out if you are depressed, you must have five of the following symptoms for at least two weeks, and you feel these emotions for most of the day every day. The symptoms are: losing interest in activities that normally excites you; weight loss or gain; loss or gain of appetite; insomnia (less than five hours of sleep); hypersomnia (more than ten hours); lethargy or restlessness; trouble concentrating or remembering; feeling worthless or guilty; frequent crying; and suicidal thoughts. These are the nine main symptoms of depression and should not go unnoticed.
YOU are your own hero. While going through depression it may seem like it is never going to be over, and nights feel longer. But it does end, with the right treatment and required external support. It may take several months. As the family of a depressed patient, my advice to all of you is to handle it patiently. I know it’s extremely hard; you get to the point where you give up, but don’t let the person in depression know that you feel hopeless. Keep telling them that you know they will get better. Take better care of them, make them eat healthy, stay around them, stay in contact, and don’t leave them alone. Trust me, it’s all going to be over, and you’re going to look back, and be surprised that you once thought life was not worth living.
The writer is a producer at SAMAA TV