Dear Mathira & Rose,
I have three little children and I’m beginning to feel like I’ve no time for myself. None at all. My life is a constant rigmarole of running after my kids, feeding them, making them do homework, supervising their poops and pees, getting them to brush their teeth and taking them to one doctor after another. It’s like a circus that never ends. Sometimes, I want to chill out but I can’t. A lunch out with friends means crying children and nonstop phone calls. What can I do? Should I just resign to the fact that I am a mom and can never be more than that? Please help
Mathira’s Advice:
Hey, it’s okay. I go through this a lot. There was a time when my bag didn’t have any makeup accessories. Instead, it had a feeders and bottles. I felt pretty messed up especially, when I had to travel. But do remember, time changes. Today, your children are worrying you. It’s just how children are. I know it’s a tough time for you but this time will not remain. You need to get your mother or your sister (if you have one) on board. The mother’s side of the family always stands up for you where the father’s side will be ready to taunt you. Try getting someone from your mom’s side to help you so you could go out for a lunch or a massage. They’ll actually help you stay calm. Rather than you going out for a gossip and later regretting why you were there. So take it easy. I know, being a mom isn’t easy, but it’s definitely worth it. Before you know it, your children will be all grown up and then you’ll look back at this time and just smile.
Rose’s Advice:
I think you’re going through what every mom goes through. It’s just a phase because I’ve seen my sister go through it. It’s a phase you’ve to deal with especially when they’re little and at toddler stage. There came a time when my sister didn’t really have a social life of her own. I used to ask her out but she always used to refuse as she had to stay home. But then these children grow up and start going to school and once they’re back, all they want to do is to sleep, take a shower and fall asleep. You’re going through a phase. I know you want to chill out with your friends, so why don’t you hire a babysitter or a nanny? She can take care of your kids while you’re out chilling with your friends for a bit. If you’re not into domestic help like most people who want to raise their kids themselves, then why don’t you simply drop off your kids to their grandmother’s or aunt’s place and take some breather? I also think you need to tell your husband to help you out if you want to go out.