Depression is more than feeling down. It is an illness that targets the brain. Its ability to change brain chemistry makes it lethal Research tells us other factors appear at the beginning of depression, including genetics, changes in hormone levels, certain medical conditions, stress, grief or difficult life circumstances. Any of these factors alone or a combination of them can provoke changes in brain chemistry that may lead to depression. Depression is a serious case and unfortunately, it is a common one too. Men and women of every age, social and economic background and even students are suffering from depression. Depression is like a virus widely spread in the society that it affects all aspects of human life including marriage, parenting, friendship, finance & careers.
Symptoms of depression are sadness, hopelessness, guilt, moodiness, anger, and a loss of interest in friends, family, and favourite activities. It also involves trouble in making decisions, trouble in concentrating, withdrawing from people, missing work, weight loss, weight gain, tiredness or lack of energy, sleeping too little or too much and sensitivity. And you feel your life is hell. You face anxiety and stress. Sometimes you cannot work and sometimes you lay on your bed and cry. Despite the fact that most of the time you have supporting family and loyal friends, you feel alone.
In my words, depression has many names, types, styles, impacts and causes. Envy, evil thoughts, enmity, guilt, anger, fiasco, disrespect, sexual harassment, degradation, greediness, taunting, blaming, pressure, mistakes, family politics, no grasp on circumstances, feeling ashamed, no super activities in life, no goals, threats, always hearing negative chat about yourself, ‘you are useless’, ‘you are mad,’ mocking your views, your style, fears, extra judgements about you, pointing on everything or every time, ending of relationship, loss of money, and addiction to technology including social media. This makes may make you stressed, ill, mad and depressed. You may lose your self-confidence. You can suffer from emotional pain and feel suffocated. Everyone in the society is under pressure or stressed.
The atrocity is that nobody understands anyone and never helps each other to come out of this fatal disease. Just because of the sick mentality you lose your happiness in your life, they ruin you and your skills. They kill your passion and dreams very bravely and then call you a ‘depressed person’. And the misery is you cannot tell your condition to anyone and feel ashamed talking about your mental health. Everyone talks about you, and they become extra judgmental. Sometimes people want to help and counsel you but actually, they need a topic or gossip for chit-chat. For short period of time the society may give sympathy and console you but soon enough they get fed up, and those who hug you soon get away from you.
How can a teacher dare to disrespect you in front of the class? Why they instil weaknesses in a child’s mind? Why you are treated like an animal? Who are they? How a male teacher or male staff and other men of the society dare to harass a woman in public or privately? Why your friends get jealous of you and taunt you and mock your style? If any of the above sound familiar be certain there are many dozen like you suffering.
Also, it is found that usually, if you are doing a job your boss and co-workers in enmity or habit try to pull your leg and stop your career growth. If you are married, society will go mad and always interfere in your personal life. In childhood, an aunt or uncle misbehave & shouted at you when they can and you became silent as they squelch your voice. Around you, some vandals are moving freely, who are depressed and weak and they want you to become a slave to depression just like them. They spend meaningless life and want you to do the same to you.
If you had a fever or pneumonia your mother will rush to the nearest hospital for medical treatment, and if you visit the doctor hoping to be diagnosed a common disease and the doctor declares it is ‘depression’ instead. She gets angry and blames you for your condition. And you try to hide your sickness, feel ashamed, and you feed your mental illness with tears, ego, and by telling yourself ‘I am Alone and nobody understands me’. Till a time depression becomes a Monster. Much stronger than it was in the beginning. It takes over your mind and evil thoughts awake inside you and you become a slave of this monster, and then you are forced to follow its
‘When life throws lemons at you, learnto make lemonade’
Depression is like a war in which you either win or die. Life is like a rollercoaster ride sometimes. Simply you have to go with the flow and do best in every difficult situation. You are the only one who can give a splendid come back to life. You can rise again. With a little hope, you can become an amazing person. Positive thoughts can help you to build up. Digest the facts no matter how disturbing they are. Accept and apologize when you are wrong. It makes you more powerful to face the new challenges in life. If you are not wrong than be confident. Don’t rely on medications alone. Do not allow anyone to destroy you.
Handle your life’s problems. Do exercise, eat and sleep well. Change your lifestyle. Accept the criticism, and let them criticized you, set your own goals. If you are a student, men, women, married, single, widow, divorced, whatever you are, stay out of negative people. Clean your mess and move on. Stop arguing because it’s not communication, and now you need to talk directly with everyone. Being direct doesn’t mean that you need to create a scene just handle rumours about you, don’t squelch your voice this society will never be changed if you don’t change yourself.
Try to spread positivity. Be confident and stay calm in every disturbing situation. Find out your problems and solve them. Do not wait and shed tears that someone will have pity on you and rescue you, be certain no one is coming to help you but you are going to be your own rescuer. If you have problem communicate with your loyal friends, parents, and beloved. If you have no one left to talk then talk to yourself or your God.
Nobody can get the idea about your feelings, pains, and emotions. Find happiness around you and inside you. This life is yours and you have the right to live it on your terms. You are unique, important and beautiful. ‘When life throws lemons at you, learn to make lemonade.’ I know it is difficult but it’s not impossible. You exist for a reason, no matter if you lost the reason or have not come to the point to realize it, remember if you are still alive and reading this your creator is still not done with you. Look yourself in the mirror and you will find something that you will still like about yourself. Live and enjoy your Individuality, maybe it is a good time to give yourself importance and respect. Remember this society needs people who have survived depression to help others overcome this as others may not be as strong as you are and they are waiting for a saviour that is ‘You’. You know how lonely and dark it gets when there is no hope, be hope, spread hope, live hope.
The author is a writer, educationist and social worker. She writes about stories from real life which are usually unheard and unwelcome in society. She tweets @FahminaAbuzar
Published in Daily Times, January 7th 2018.