With one in four people likely to be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives, mental disorders are among the leading cause of ill-health and disability in the world, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO).
A study conducted by Whiteford and others in 2013 found that major depression is the second leading cause of disability worldwide, and is also a major contributor to suicides and the ischemic heart disease.
Most cases of mental illness go unreported because of the social taboo attached to it. This makes it difficult to estimate the number of affected people. However, it is safe to assume that the number of such people is quite significant.
Depression entails a feeling of nothingness, the person affected feels completely out of place and that no one around them cares for them. Those affected by depression may appear completely fine, but deep down inside they are in turmoil and they find it hard to express themselves. Depression makes people stay in bed or indoors for hours that may convert to days or, in worst situations, to months. It’s an extremely common mental disorder, but it is a subject of public ridicule even more commonly now than before.
In a society like ours, people carelessly associate depression with madness and assume that those diagnosed with it need to be shifted to asylums for mentally-handicapped people. I have seen many brilliant minds failing to focus on their work on being affected by clinical depression; I have those who could express themselves in one art form or the other but couldn’t explain their situation to peers verbally; and I have also witnessed people who once seemed very vibrant and lively but become recluse with the onset of depression.
Elderly suffering from depression are often told that it’s because of their age and that they have started losing their mind. A young person suffering from depression is often told to get a grip and that they haven’t yet seen the difficulties of practical life. I am no expert on mental health or illness. But as a person who was affected by depression I want us to realise that mental illness is no joke. It needs to be taken seriously and those affected need our care and timely diagnoses and treatment.
All of us need to pay close attention to such people. I understand it is a difficult job to pay attention especially when one is not being paid for the task, or when it can take up hours of one’s time that may have been spent on something. But this is equally important. Don’t tell someone who is depressed to just ‘get over it’ or to ‘move on’ or to ‘stop being depressed’. Stop telling them that there are others with bigger problems than theirs; this doesn’t help. Don’t tell them that they are weak in faith and should try building a stronger connection with God. I understand salah or mediation can be an immensely powerful activity to make things better, but it may not work for everyone or every time. Stop telling affected people that they are being thankless, and that it’s only in their head because it doesn’t make it any less real. If you really want to help, be there for such people in your close circles. Listen to them, and don’t just listen to respond but to try and understand. Ask for professional help if it’s required, mental health or depression is not something to be ashamed of. If you can’t help such people, just leave or stay quiet. Don’t judge them or call them ‘too sensitive’. You don’t understand, fair enough. Let it be. Just don’t make it any worse. Learn where you should stop. Allow them to feel something the way they want. Respect that.
If you are the one going through depression, come forward and ask for help, there is nothing in it to be ashamed of. You are not weak; only the strong have the courage to admit when they need help. Taking your own life is not a choice. Giving it another shot is. Being the one who knows how it feels to be unheard is the second worse thing after being helpless in face of anything, be it a regret of not saving someone while you could have. Depression may have recurrences and may never permanently go away but there are ways to get through it. Let’s be there for each other.
The writer is the author of Baluchistan Conundrum — The Real Perspective. She is a PhD scholar at Quaid-e-Azam University, Islamabad, and is a visiting PhD scholar at Durham University, UK