Of late I have been finding it impossible to write. What do you do when you realise that your brain has gone absolutely limp? Instinctively, the first blame was put on the prolonged and really taxing flu I had. Maybe it was the new scourge of the land, the swine flu. But later these doubts proved to be nothing more than bland doubts. And it was not just a small roadblock in writing. I was failing to think, read, imagine or even watch entertainment on television. Similarly, the taste buds had also resigned from their job. What was it if not an illness then? Further introspection led me to the moment when it all happened, the sad moment of Salmaan Taseer’s brutal murder. Trust me, instinctively, I have been a nihilist almost all my life but such an attack of nihilism has never visited me earlier. I am not going to indulge in any conspiracy theories, any sociological evaluation of the murderer’s motives, or debate the festering extremism in the Islamic republic. We know who was responsible for the murder. Yes, collectively as a nation we are responsible. And not only the conservatives, liberals too, with a few shining exceptions, have prepared this bed in which we are being asked to lie down. Liberals of the Islamic republic have lost all their courage, especially after the assassination and now speak in an extremely apologetic manner. If anything was expected from the government, which had lost its governor to the extremists, the government of the oft-thought liberal PPP, we were sadly mistaken. When the interior minister, the custodian of the rule of law, states publicly that he would have shot a blasphemer in public, and the law minister, nay the televangelist, Babar Awan claims that any change in the blasphemy laws would be possible only over his dead body, there is no room for hope left there. So, dear reader, instead of writing on these matters, I am bringing you back to my personal crisis and focus on feelings rather than any refined and imaginative thoughts. So, was it fear that had frozen my head and taste buds? There of course was considerable justification for this deduction. My stance, after all, on the blasphemy laws is known and publicised too. And how could it not be? I have hosted more than a dozen talk shows on the Aasia Bibi and the blasphemy laws issue. I have tried to write vociferous columns on the matter too. And I will not lie here. A person like me, who has taken pride all his life in his devil-may-care attitude and least love for life, was ashamed to find fear creeping up his nerves. Reason? I have two lovely little daughters and which father does not want to live long enough to see his children growing up and becoming useful parts of society. The fact that, unlike Salmaan sahib, I am not a big business owner but a working class man struggling to make both ends meet, compounded my fear for life. But the moment this fear was identified, it was resolved too. It is not in my hand to decide how long can I live. I now realise that no matter how much I want to try designing the outcome of my personal future, lack of courage will essentially only muddy the prospects. If anything, Salmaan sahib has taught us that it is grace under pressure and the dedication to a just cause that matters in the end. When this fog of tragedy settles and the liberals, moderates and seculars of this country finally have a heart, we will know that Shaheed Salmaan Taseer has become the first political martyr of the liberal and secular cause in Pakistan. His courage will be celebrated and the scar of the wound inflicted on us in the shape of his murder will be worn with pride as a souvenir. And I implore all the liberals of society to show courage and unite. How many Salmaan Taseers can they kill when every household duly gets the message of moderation? This is our country and those blessed with foresight cannot abdicate its future to those who have no sense of history and no love for this land. And, frankly, our foreign friends, like the foreign dignitaries, should also remember that our country’s liberal class does not need any delayed sympathies. If they had any love for the pluralist and moderate future of this country, they would have stood with the liberal class from day one. But, clearly, even in the media the object of western love have been journalists and anchors with the conservative outlook. One reason would be that the right wing elements in the media have had more outreach. But even so if the West, especially the US, wanted it, it was practically impossible to hold back the message of moderation from the masses. It shows how the established democracies of the world have no interest in saving Pakistan from the extremists. All they want is their own interests being safeguarded in the region. So what is the big deal? We will win this war alone. I must also request the educated and rational few who keep questioning liberalism in our country. They insist that our liberals want to westernise the country. Interestingly, they emphasise on the wrong angle. The West has accomplished something because it has embraced liberalism and liberalism is not an entirely western product. Our historical experience might be different, but the fact is that whichever country wants to progress, it has to cast away the outdated mores and values and live with a more progressive and culturally viable value system. There is no harm in embracing such an outlook because all progressing and thriving polities and economies like China, India, and even some Gulf countries are experimenting with the same. Coming back to my own dilemmas, I must mention here that apart from my fear, my failure of imagination, writing and flight of taste had more deep-seated causes too. For some time, I have allowed this feeling to grow on me that no matter what we say or write will make no difference whatsoever. But, if anything, I was proved wrong. Just tell me why would the extremists choose to kill Governor Salmaan Taseer only for his outlook? The extremists too are in mortal fear then. Hence folks, I am back in business and may the cause of moderation in this country never fail. The writer is an independent columnist and a talk show host. He can be reached at farukh@gmail.com