eeDear Mathira & Rose,
My husband’s best friend asked if his brother and his wife, who live in the United States, could come and stay at our place to which we both agreed. But now I get to know that they’ll will be staying with us for God knows how long. It can be three or six months or even more. I got married just a year ago and it’s only two of us living here. I told my husband a guest who’s not our family member can come stay with us for a week or so but more than that’s going to be very awkward. And they want to put up a television and all in that room as if it’s going to be permanently there. Anyways, so my question is am I wrong in feeling and saying this or am I right? By saying all this was I sounding rude and selfish? Please guide and suggest.
Rose’s advice:
Having guests over is no big deal as well have friends and family coming over. but in this scenario, it’s your husband’s best friend’s brother. It’s not like it’s his best friend himself. There’s no strong bonding there. As far as hospitality is concerned, I think four to five days or even a week maximum is fine. But to have them over and allowing them to fix their own television set in the room for six months isn’t very wise. It’s going to create a lot of issues between you and your husband and would also affect your husband’s friendship with his best friend because if something happens, his brother would obviously complain to your husband’s friend which would result in a bump in their friendship. They should be communicated that every couple have their privacy and anything more than a week would be difficult.You can suggest them to rent a furnished somewhere during their stay in your city. It can be near your house so you could be there for them if need arises.
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Mathira’s advice:
It’s okay if you’re feeling this way. If you’re actually uncomfortable, why don’t you be vocal about it? Just say you want your personal space and time, which is very compulsory. If that gets disturbed, one is bound to get mood swings and issues, which mess up a relationship. Little things lead to bigger issues. Please relax and calm down. If you’re uncomfortable, talk it out and don’t keep it inside. They’re coming over for a long time. It’s not a matter of two or three days. Why don’t you make some other arrangement for them? It’s not necessary that they need to stay with only you guys. Let’s see what your husband says. If two people feel the same way, that means they’re on the same page. If he doesn’t agree, explain your concerns to him. Try to make him understand because you see, visitors need to be treated nicely. It wouldn’t look nice if they come over and don’t get the treatment they deserve. So use proper words while explaining to your husband.
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