Body positivity! It’s a nice pair of words. They go so well together, spread positivity, make everyone feel like they belong. You can’t possibly go wrong with the terminology, can you? It’s astounding how in this generation, where we liberate our voices and preach equality, we seem to forget that there is much more beneath the tip of the iceberg and if we want our voices to be heard, we have to present certain aspects of what we are fighting for and those can only be found when we dig deeper into the problem. Body shaming is a product of societal pressures created by glorifying “the perfect woman” or “the perfect man” through social media, television shows, literature and most of all, branding of clothes and cosmetics, etc. This toxic and vicious cycle is a one-way ticket to thousands of problems. On social media platforms like Instagram, models endorse their best lives. They are to be appreciated for being comfortable in their bodies and try to spread positivity but once you become a public figure, you have to consider many outcomes before you make a move, so when these celebrities advertise thinning products, like Fit Tea or sweat belts, they don’t realise it’s toxic to think that these products are making them thin. They have personal trainers and dieticians to help them achieve their desired body. These advertisements are just cheques for them and harmful for our bodies. The question remains; “Why do I need this product? Do people not think I’m perfect the way I am?” You don’t and if you think someone’s social media or approach is toxic for you, please stop following them for your good. Over the years, through literature and early cinema, women and men have been sexually objectified, as a preference for the other. These “preferences” have led to major expectations for each gender. For example, women like Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn had been objectified for their looks. Marvel and Archie Comics have set standards for young girls’ appearances. All superheroes and cartoon figures have been made “masculine” and strong to depict a certain generalised image of men. Furthermore, I urge society to please eradicate this absurd idea that eating or body disorders are “largely predominant in girls.” They are equally predominant in boys. You will always find boys rambling on about their male bravado and unconsciously or consciously hurt someone. Boys do not have to be muscular individuals, with strong physiques, upright postures or thick hands. We aren’t living in the cave age. We aren’t hunter-gatherers. We do not require such phenotypes. They are not confined to the stereotypical masculine body type. Stop telling them what colours to wear, stop telling them. Body shaming is a product of societal pressures created by glorifying “the perfect woman” or “the perfect man.” to eat less or more as you would girls. If he’s thin and “god forbid doesn’t wear blue or black,” he’s not weak and unusual. If he’s a bit overweight, he is not dumb. He doesn’t binge-eat and is not different. These unrealistic expectations from men and women illustrate a pathway of hazards that could ruin one. These very expectations are ones that have led our environment to become denoting. Clothing advertisements tell us what to wear. If you’re fat, wear black. If you’re underweight, wear patterns. Face-tune or Photoshop tells us to change our bodies and hide our imperfections. It’s as if they use our insecurities as pawns to grow their businesses and that is not okay. Families can be very inconsiderate of somebody’s problems as well. You’d expect this at school but unfortunately, it is also in our homes. Telling young children how they should look; cutting down on their food and constantly reminding them about their imperfections can be very denoting. Yes, this comes from a place of love and good intentions but the way it’s expressed is more effective than the intentions. If your child is borderline diabetic, obviously you will prevent them from sweets but calling names or making them feel like they are society’s designated outcasts won’t do the job. Working with them, listening to their weaknesses and organising meals with them will help. When parents feed their children notions on how they should look, it makes them develop an unhealthy relationship with food from a young age, which can eventually cost them their health and their life, especially in the Pakistani society, where every uncle and aunt feels the need to tell girls that boys don’t like “moti” (fat) girls or that they should look out for their weight. There is a fine line between empowering and making people feel less. You will find this culture mostly with your friends or school peers. Don’t tell others that they are perfectly normal and then look at your thin figure and complain, we can talk it out because it’s normal for everyone to have insecurities. When people do that, it’s just a mockery of their self-esteem. Don’t tell them that they are “brave” or “confident” for wearing something that compliments their bodies. There is nothing brave about existing. You wouldn’t tell a model she’s brave for wearing anything on her so-called perfect body. People, especially families, need to be more considerate with the way they introduce food to their children. Children need to be careful with the way they let their environments influence them. An unhealthy relationship with food can lead to so many disorders like binge-eating disorder, where you find it hard to stop eating or have urges to indulge in weight-gaining food and bulimia. This can be found in many adolescents. It is a disorder where you throw up your food right after eating it to avoid weight gain. The list goes on, but what all of them have in common is that the outcomes are never pretty. So, please look after one another, talk to each other, try and come up with logical methods to help each other. It’s perfectly mundane to encounter resistance from someone at first because it’s hard to know what someone else is going through. Sometimes, people just need consolation and to know that they can trust someone rather than wanting to change their lifestyles in a night or through one conversation. We can’t tell people to appreciate themselves and love themselves because that’s a euphoria we imagine to live in but cannot exist because it takes a lot of confrontation to come to terms with your body. You can curl the hair, tame the frizz, place a diamond necklace over your neck or wear a designer dress but until you do not learn to appreciate yourself, you will always be struggling to maintain your hair so your face looks slender. Adjust that necklace so it doesn’t emphasise how short or long your neck is and you will always replace that dress for sweats and hoodies. The writer is a freelancer