The idea of a woman, particularly here in Pakistan, is a product of misplaced religious notions cemented by self-concocted social and cultural norms. Albeit, I am a man myself, I feel no shame in saying that a dominant percentage of my kind is deluded in regards to their concept of what a woman is, what she should do and what things she is allowed. None of it is their business but it seems it is the only business a vast majority of people seem concerned with.
International Women’s Day just passed. Amongst the Aurat March and the ensuing cocktail of self-righteous, made-to-look contemplative comments on social media; there are some very serious issues that affect not only an individual but whole families and therefore, a society, community further crawling to and maximizing to a national scourge hindering our progress as a country.
A woman here, first of all, is considered a different species. As if it is something to be tamed and trained, men are told by other men and most of the times ironically, by other women, about the techniques and tools he might need to employ to control his future wife and keep her in her boundaries. While single, she is made to follow a rigorous and stringent dressing protocol. The code of conduct when outside the home is also not easy to follow. Domestic abuse is also not a rare sight.
Resting on unnecessary and primordial concepts of social institutions, one of them being marriage, women are subjected to treatment that befits an object. Even the language that is being used depicts a lamentable mentality. What is appalling is the prevalence of the above-mentioned factors in every tier of society with different degrees of variations. In an illiterate family, such attitudes are expected (albeit not justified) but what truly is ignominious is when an educated person speaks the same social language.
There is a serious need to shun misplaced and unfounded ideas about what a woman should and shouldn’t be doing. To do that, evidently, education about our own history, of the region and religion, is required
In a world where one of the top three most influential institutions: the IMF, World Bank and OECD, are headed by women, the juxtaposition is horrible. A report by Mckinsey and Co a few years back suggested that almost $12 trillion can be added to the global economy by advancing women’s rights. Pakistan, it could be safely said, can therefore add and achieve much more if we muster the courage to accept women as leaders in the financial and corporate world.
But this is a far cry from where we stand now. Where we need to start is our very own minds and our homes. We need to teach young men that once married their glory lies not in having a strong check on his wife but to achieve greatness through hardwork, being a useful and helpful house-member as well as a responsible citizen. That manliness lies not in beating up women but having tolerance and respect for each other in a relationship. Marriage does not mean that your wife is signing-up to do a course in how to live. We need, at every level of society, awareness. Women need to be educated as well, since many women endorse and approve of the patriarchal dominance.
There is a serious need to shun misplaced and unfounded ideas about what a woman should and shouldn’t be doing. To do that, evidently, education about our own history, of the region and religion, is required. If one reads a version of history unadulterated by bias it will be surprising for many to learn about the significant role of women in Islamic ideological and intellectual progress. The stereotypical mindset needs to be broken.
For those who will take offence to this, and their will be many, inferring that the article projects ultra-liberal thoughts bereft of our own culture and religion, it does not. But in any case, everyone is free to think whatever they want — thoughts are free as Shakespeare said. But lets be extra careful that these free thoughts do not curb someone else’s freeedom.
Our society needs to forget current concepts and needs to relearn the idea of what it means to be a woman.
The writer is a freelance columnist
Published in Daily Times, March 11th 2019.