Ahmadis and Naya-Naya land on September 2, 2018It’s not easy being Kaptaan. Everyone wants a piece of him. Even when he is as happy as Larry, flourishing his magic wand, for which he will have kept the receipt, naturally, to grant overseas Pakistanis their hearts’ desire. Namely, the right to vote in Naya-Naya land. For hard currency alone is all it takes […]
The ‘barefoot colonial’ – VS Naipaul (1932-2018) on August 13, 2018Sir Vidiadhar Surajprasad Naipaul was undoubtedly one of literature’s greats. That he enjoyed such an illustrious career ought to be a matter of pride for the Global South. Not least because it brought with it an authentic tale of success in the face of an ever-changing and, at times, inhospitable world. VS Naipaul was born […]
Tales of His Imminence and the homecoming King on July 15, 2018Dammit. His Imminence could stomach anything but this. Even the prospect of his former paramour, with her premature kiss n’ tell, momentarily stealing his thunder. After all, he could quite easily chomp on a cigar while the storm passed. But this. Well, this was too much. To be upstaged by a man. It would never […]
Of caged lions, hidden hands and sticky wickets on July 8, 2018His Imminence shall go to the ball. Not only is he its rightful belle — he has spent the last five years so very carefully filling out his dance card. Admittedly, he did get hitched a couple of times in the meanwhile; idling away the years as he waited patiently for his heart’s desire. His […]
Black-facing and the white man’s burden on July 1, 2018Sitting with a group of women, some known others not, for a rare London meet-up in Lahore, I was surprised by the sudden turn in conversation. They were scandalised. And not in that understated way that invites mere tutting for dramatic effect. No, this was the real deal. A young Lahori woman in their circle, […]
Sajid Javid’s CONTEST with Islamist terrorism on June 10, 2018We were just eight-years-old. But we all knew who the grocer’s daughter was. Even the boys did. Feeling terribly important, we divided ourselves into small groups as our eyes scanned the classroom for our huddled prey. These being the last days of Spring might have meant that we were cooped up inside for a few […]
Who wears the Crown? on May 20, 2018There I was flumped on the sofa, having just returned to Wuhan after a summer spent backpacking around southeast Asia. I was trying to rouse myself to go over lesson plans for next semester’s teaching courses. This was before cats. Naturally. The phone in the shared corridor began ringing. It was one of the other […]
Of Teeto biscuits and home on May 13, 2018My parents didn’t tell me what was going on. Trying to hide the precariousness of our situation, they did their best to turn it into a game. It didn’t work. A flash of memory here. A recollection there. The inside of an empty flat. All glass windows and darkness flooding in from the cold outside. […]
Home boy Sajid Javid on May 6, 2018Enoch Powell. How that sorry gentleman must be turning in his grave. To think that some fifty years after his seminal Rivers of Blood speech his own party has shown such audacity. In appointing this son of an immigrant to one of the Great Offices of State. Has history taught them nothing. It would appear […]
Harassment’s tipping point on April 29, 2018The gentleman in question rather reckoned himself. Swanning around the newsroom as if he were ‘it’. He was, in fact, one of those chaps who enjoyed a bit of banter. Particularly with female colleagues. A most brilliant disguise. His reputation was well deserved. From the literally toe-curling sessions with interns in his office to the […]