“I use every card possible,” Kangana Ranaut once famously remarked. Looks like Interior Minister Chaudhry Nisar has taken a leaf out of the Bollywood starlet’s book. Self-righteousness inanities: Check. ‘Incisive’ foreign policy analysis: Check. Playing the victim card: Check. Unashamed demagoguery: Check. Addressing a posse of supporters on Saturday in Saroba, Nisar lashed out at ‘secular adversaries’. “Some individuals, some parties rap me for framing an ideology rooted in the tenets of Islam much to my dejection. If you take pride in being secular (read sickular); of being irreligious (read atheist), then I am proud of being pro-Islam,” dear interior minister observed. Who the forces are, remains beyond the comprehension of anyone in command of a reasonable intellect. The Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) has an impressive record of pandering to the right. Ostensibly ‘secular’ Awami National Party (ANP) remained a silent spectator over parliamentary proceedings culminating in the official excommunication of Jamaat-e-Ahmadiyya in 1974. Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI), the less said the better. ‘Truth’ be told, most self-styled Pakistani ‘liberals’ tend to be flag-bearers of obscurantism in ‘secular’ garb. In a country where Ayub and Yahya Khan are presented as ‘secular’ leaders, a Pakistani ‘conservative’ ticks all the boxes needed to qualify as a fascist the world over. This brings one to the rather unsettling ‘correlation’ cracked by dear interior minister on finding “good people” alcoholic beverage in tow. We now know with certitude what Sheikh Mujib must have felt when then-president Yahya Khan, clutching a glass of whiskey, tried to impress upon him the importance of them cooperating to protect the unity of Pakistan and glory of Islam. Little wonder then that former United States secretary of state and national security adviser Henry Kissinger caustically observed that for a dictator, Yahya had run a lousy election. Tum haya-o-shariat ke takaazon ki baat kerte ho Hum ne nangay jismon ko malboos haya dekha hai Dekhey hein hum ne ehram mein liptey kayi iblis Hum ne kai bar maikhaney mein khuda dekha hai Wherever in the world Muslims are subjected to tyranny, Nisar will espouse their cause, dear interior minister asserted. Can every God-fearing Pakistani then expect an apology for ‘excesses’ committed over the Bangladesh Liberation War to be in the offing? Kab nazar mein aaegi bedaagh sabze ki bahar Khoon ke dhabbey dhuleinge kitni barsaaton ke baad Un se jo kahne gaye the ‘faiz’ jaan sadqe kiye Ankahi hi rah gayi vo baat sab baton ke baad Bangladesh’s Awami League government has reduced the state to a virtual satellite of India’s Modi sarkar, we are informed. By cultivating ties with New Delhi, the Bangladesh government has ceased being representative of its Muslim citizens. How the elected government of a sovereign Muslim-majority state can compromise national interest for satellite status, only dear interior minister knows. For all we know, Sheikh Hasina may have hit the bottle since ascending to power. Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas recently concluded a four-day visit to India. Here’s hoping he eschewed liquor to meet ‘good’ people. Are you listening “Bibi”?