“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Puffing through the cigarette sitting in the bathroom all she could think of was why she’s sleepless. She had everything, own house, well settled guy, family and achievements. But something was lost, something inside her, maybe. Since a month or so, she became so vague and void, so empty and emotionless. It was a very different experience for her, totally different. At one point she will be smiling meeting all her friends and while on the other she will be all in pain, cursing herself. Even there was a time when while talking to someone or even thinking all alone her tears would roll down. She never knew what was wrong and nobody ever cared enough to notice. And a few, very few who noticed, blamed it on her stressful busy life. Nobody knew what was really wrong inside her until one day, he found her in a pool of blood. She was lying on the floor motionless, her body was indeed motionless but her eyes; they were fragile, the fragility was there not because what she had done but because of the sufferings she had, which nobody understood. Not even her! They rushed her to the hospital, luckily she was saved but the scar on her left wrist remained the same; deep and hurtful. She opened her eyes to everyone she loved but the emptiness was there and sadly still nobody asked her that are you alright? Instead, how could you? The questions were many but the answer was one, I don’t know. And finally she screamed “HELP ME, I WANT TO LIVE”. That moment shocked everyone, and then started this courageous journey. They realised that depression is for true and should be cured. It was late very late but they realised, she told the doctor how she used to feel. “I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.” (Exactly like Ned Vizzini’s, its kind of a funny story) The nightmare wasn’t restricted to the night only but throughout the day as well. She found herself weak and vain. But now after all that happened she wanted to fight back. Remember, a person does not try to commit suicide because of sadness or the feeling of being alone but because at that very point they want the pain to end and the depressive intoxication wants them to finish it off, to rip it off! The very same way depression itself is kicking them! Depression is never straight to tell you the bad signs as sometimes they are there and sometimes not. Just like sunshine and rain, just like weather. But you need to find them! Today, after her treatment, she’s doing well but the fear is still there. Maybe, it will take some more years for her to fully recover from the terror of depression. But what we need to understand is something very important, we need to start understanding/seeing the signs inside out a person. What’s love for if we just cannot help our loved ones! Precautionary signs/symptoms can be: Losing interest If you find that your loved one or your friend is losing interest in the things they used to admire/love and now feels that it isn’t worth it. Try looking for a depressive sign. We often see depressive people losing interest not only in things but in people too. They prefer spending time alone, they can surf the Internet for hours but will avoid a conversation with a loved one/friend. Lack of sleep Lack of sleep is the worst of all. Sufferers will lose their sleep in no time. You will often find them awake in the late hours of night, early mornings or even at times they will wake up from deep sleep. This will not only interrupt your own sleep but will also make you tensed about them. They can go awake for even days. And this makes them unwanted, irritated and cranky. Eating habits Another considerable thing is the change in eating habits; either they eat too much or too less. There is no middle point of it. They can go on the verge for days without eating, and it results in sadness and inner grief. Anger, tears and irritation You will notice that the sufferers will constantly be irritated and will explode from anger within few seconds. Though they themselves try to control but the emotion become so uncontrollable that they will either burst into tears or anger. Anything can make them cry or furious. Even the minor details too. Negativity You will constantly see them finding negativity even in the beauty of flowers which means they try to find any little or no reason to express negativity. They will start hating everything. They will hate their own selves and try to escape from everyone and everything. Seeing themselves in mirror will haunt them and they’ll feel disgusted. Suicidal tendencies Well, I can bet that each one of us in our lifetime did have the thought of committing suicide, be it because of study pressure, love life or financial crisis. BUT it came to us for once and then, its gone. Now imagine getting this thought 24/7 and even having the courage to do something like suicide without realising the consequences can hit hard. Exactly like the girl I discussed in this very blog. Suicide to them is like doing any usual activity like drinking water or thinking. To them it’s part of their daily schedule. They will think about it every day and night, and the strong feeling of depression even gives them this ecstasy to do it. They do not feel any pain at first while doing it because to them this specific pain will ease their suffering. Their mind frame while doing something wrong gets absolutely numb! What we need to understand We really need to understand that depressive people are no criminals or harmful people. In fact they themselves are fighting their own demons, their own battle and unfortunately the demon is not someone else but themselves. Please consider depression as a medical condition and help them genuinely! Just do not shove them off. They need to live life happily exactly like us. And yes, we all suffer from depression. It’s just that the degree and intensity of our depression can vary. Yes, we all cry and feel lonely. We all try to hide ourselves from the outer world and yes we also feel motionless, numb and some days we just do not want to wake up. Yes, even we all feel sad and question ourselves. Why me? Yes, we all feel anger and rage in ourselves. And yes! We all for once had suicidal thought for any reason possible or stupid but yes we had! Now consider yourself replacing someone having similar thoughts, similar building emotions like anger, sadness, irritation, cranking, numbness and suicidal thoughts every day, 24/7. Remember, depression can be cured and people can be helped. It is a serious medical condition with a cure. Help and save your loved ones, your friends, you colleagues, basically people at large, known and unknown! There are wounds that do not show on the body but are deep. Depression is so insidious that one is unable to see the end, dead end. Being functional human is something alien to them. They might be smiling but we need to look into their eyes and see that they are breaking inside. Hope and try to understand the blackness, hopelessness, the cloudy lethargy and sadness drizzled with loneliness that they are going through. Try and be there for them. Its too hard to handle depressive people but love can conquer all, right? Trust me; this will result as your kindest, bestest and noblest deed ever.