Love him or hate him. Maybe really hate him. There is no denying that The Grump is entertaining. If you look up “buffoon” in the dictionary, you’ll see the definition of a buffoon… which is what Donald Trump is.
Mr Grump is the most talked-about person in the world right now or one can say best known for his teenage-boy impression. About Trump, well people might take him seriously but even a single picture has two stories to tell and we would know how to take him either seriously or obnoxiously. Here are some of the bold quotes to edify his alarming thoughts:
Intelligence Quotient
“Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.”
Well yes Mr Trump we don’t blame you because either it’s of you-know-who’s fault or perhaps you’re the retreated 420th descendent of Einstein.
Hairy the Fairy
Offending Trump can reveal a hilarious, babyish side to him as he folds his arms and gets raucous when he doesn’t have his way not knowing he has an aperture of a cute little dinosaur, which dribbles fire only. Once asked about his hair he gave quite a funny answer:
“I don’t wear a ‘rug’- it’s mine. And I promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn’t work.”
Trump! Everybody knows it’s a carpet, thank you very much. (Looks down) I wonder where my carpet is from.
Mr Nonimmune
“All of the women on The Apprentice (a reality game show hosted by Trump) flirted with me, consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”
Because of course, no woman can resist Trump’s charms. (Throws up on keyboard)
Sewing up Mexicans
“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”
That’s not me people. That’s what Trump said.
For granted Generations
“Sadly, because President Obama has done such a poor job as president, you won’t see another black president for generations!”
It hurts so much!
Woman’s Card
“The only card, Hillary Clinton, has is the woman’s card. She’s got nothing else to offer and frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she’d get five per cent of the vote. The only thing she’s got going is the woman’s card, and the beautiful thing is, women don’t like her.”
Speaking from a, err, woman’s perspective, I reckon old Trumpy may be a little off with this one.
Spying Potential
“I know where she went – it’s disgusting, I don’t want to talk about it. No, it’s too disgusting. Don’t say it, it’s disgusting.”
Donald on Hillary Clinton taking a bathroom break during a Democratic presidential debate. Trump leave her be at least in the lavatory.
Cut the Cake, please!
“You know the funny thing, I don’t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and poor people better than I get along with the rich people.”
Well this takes the cake.
Lose or Win
“I don’t think I’m going to lose, but if I do, I don’t think you’re ever going to see me again, folks. I think I’ll go to Turnberry and play golf or something.”
Boy oh boy that seems interesting (popcorns please!).
Thought-plant
“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”
Now the whole world can speculate where these horrid thoughts come from.
Are we even surprised these came out of his mouth? We can always rely on Donald Trump for providing us with the most outrageous quotes. So it’s no surprise that since announcing his candidacy for president, we’ve been exposed to even more absurdity from the businessman and TV personality.
However, new findings released by Public Policy Polling found that Trump is more unpopular than lice and Canadian rock band Nickleback.
The poll compared the US presidential hopeful to inanimate objects, insects, medical conditions and root canals, and found that he’s more in favour with the general public than cockroaches.
That being said, as news broke that the only real buffer between Trump and the Republican candidacy, Ted Cruz, had dropped out of the race, another GOP candidate bit the dust.
Trump’s last remaining opponent, John Kasich, also bowed out, and giving the Donald a clear path to candidacy. This has actually happened. Trump could be the president. The US, once called a land of opportunity, is soon going to be a land of exit. The Donald is ready people! Either buckle up or pack your bags, and never look back.