Living societies evolve in multiple domains as their values take on a distinct form and are recognized by their members as standard practices for business, administration and social interaction. The scarlet thread that runs through the entire cross weave of our relations whether personal, state or business oriented is a strong sense of reliability and responsibility which should percolate into the whole society. By society one is not implying a narrowly bound and exclusive entity. Society here denotes an endless chain of interactions which is not limited by any boundaries, geography, race or religion. It transcends and travels through and past these barriers wherever a human being benefits from the intent, act or product of another at any point in the planet. In olden times people organized themselves into clans, tribes, principalities and finally kingdoms to obtain security, reliability and fair opportunity. Reliability and responsibility is the central double pillar of a state system and a binding force that ensures security, prosperity and equal opportunity for all. It is also the foundation of healthy relationships, a tonic for peace, solid pathway to justice and one of the guarantees for prevalence of a just socio-political order. However, this is an ideal notion and does not really exist in the form that one would like it to be. There are other factors that come into play between the concept and the practice. Family and clan compulsions, national interest, alliances, economic incentives, security imperatives, ethnicity and even religion are some of the elements which affect this paradigm in many ways and dilute its practice down from the ideal level. States falter, deviate and at times side step under pressure of the moment hoping to make up some times latter or forget as the time passes. A state could do that as it does not have a rationalizing persona of its own but when it comes to individuals the prevailing environment changes dramatically. Take for example the Belgians who amputated hands if a certain Congolese labour did not meet his day’s rubber collection quota in their African colony. That ultimate atrocity is not as much held against the Belgian state as it is pinned against the vicious King Leopold 2 under whose orders and watch this horrible crime was committed. Similarly, RSS in India is a harvest of an evil ideology and a tool of racial and communal criminalization in that country. It has frequently whipped up trouble in various parts of India which resulted in wanton loss of life and destruction of property of non Hindus. However every time it is Golwalkar its founder or present BJP leadership which gets placed in the cross hair for their complicity. RSS may survive but these leading men will always be remembered with disdain and might one day have to account for condoning RSS brutalities against fellow Indians like the Nazis in Germany. However, there is one thing certain, that there is no noblesse oblige for the terrorists of any hue nor do they have a locus standi. That ultimate atrocity is not as much held against the Belgian state as it is pinned against the vicious King Leopold 2 under whose orders and watch this horrible crime was committed There are social obligations which bind a normal, well poised person towards a certain social conduct unlike only legal bindings on the conduct of a state. International system has continuously been trying to narrow this gap by various conventions, protocols and treaties of which those related to human rights and climate change are nobler and noteworthy. Yet ultimate responsibility will always be that of a monarch, leader, institution, cabinet or the parliament. That means it will be the decision maker and not the system which will face the music or receive a pat. This practice and purview is in other words known as noblesse oblige. That, is the red line where argument ends and a higher moral responsibility superior to given legal responsibility in many ways, begins. Let’s break it down to our daily life. Noblesse oblige is sometimes also viewed as courtesy and good manners which is partly correct. As a matter of fact, self-restraint, courtesy and good manners are a corollary and reflection of the weight of noblesse oblige a person carries. It was seen more often and rather pronounced among aristocrats as their conduct was a public property and a model to be followed by the society around them in most parts of the world. They were expected to invariably maintain that standard which was taken to dealier and, permit me to say, ridiculous lengths in the form of duals in Europe. This practice was considered as answering the ultimate call of honor which normally resulted in death of one or the other contestant and had to be stopped through legislation. However, the notion in a different form has not only endured but has gathered a universal meaning and applicability. To help old and the infirm cross a busy road, give right of way to the other motorist, allow elderly to go forward in the long queue, listen patiently to a heated argument or remove a brick out of the way, exchange greetings with a smile and a prayer are actions all prompted by one’s sense of self-esteem and obligation. It requires a cultured mind and a trained reflex system supervised by the sense of what is proper and courteous, to be able to behave in that manner. To keep one’s promise, fulfil an undertaking and meet an agreed deadline are part of the same package. There are smaller looking routine things which one can easily perform with a little more thoughtfulness. It does not take much to switch off office lights, AC/heater and see that washroom tap is not dripping before you leave. Giving a tip to the waiter, doorman on the swivel door or taxi driver quietly and with a smile lets him preserve his self respect and might make his day. We are a different and fairly atrocious specie on roads. Have you ever tried to wave a thanks to the one who lets you drive past him even if he could drive first? Try this time and see the magic it works. One has seen very pleasant surprise and an ear to ear smile break on the faces of cyclists, hand cart pushers and pedestrians when you let them cross the road. It is a duty and also humane to dip your headlight for the oncoming vehicle particularly for the motorcyclist and cycle riders. Your thoughtfulness might save a life or a grievous injury to someone blinded by your powerful headlamps. These days some of the more robust minded women, particularly working class and female university students have started to ride motorbikes to destinations. It is understood that most have been compelled by one reason or the other to help themselves. It is part of our noblesse oblige to be kind and respectful to them, encourage them overcome their hesitation in as many ways as we can and facilitate them on roads as well as work places. Men need to remember that despite the hype women are still vulnerable and that we do not have to nurse a grouse either if they appear stronger and empowered. They are human beings. The writer is a retired brigadier of the Pakistan army