I am a human being from one of the most beautiful places on earth, the Indian Administered Kashmir. A region with unparallel natural beauty, in the 17th century when the Mughal Emperor Jahangir set his eyes on the valley of Kashmir he stated that if paradise was anywhere on the earth, it was here. While living in a houseboat on the Dal Lake, he said: Gar firdous bar ruh-e-zamin ast/Hamin ast’o, hamin ast’o, hamin ast. In fact, Mughals were the first foreigners to occupy Kashmir, and since then the trail of occupation continues unabated, more than 430 years later. Kashmiris have continued to suffer and resist. The partition of the subcontinent divided us, Kashmiris, in many parts, and there has always been chaos and confusion about our future. And that still continues. When I was born the violent mass uprising against the Indian rule had just started. Bloodshed and crackdowns defined our lives. The pretence of democracy in the form of rigged elections and unfulfilled promises by the Indian state had laid a perfect ground for that conflict. The beauty of Indian democracy that was appreciated everywhere was missing in Kashmir. Clearly, what I have felt as a person born in this part of the world is that the unresolved political conflict of Kashmir has never let us live a real life of peace and joy. As this has given rise to violence, militarisation, killings and rapes, we Kashmiris have lost the will power to live, as majority of us have only seen conflict, fake promises, pain, wounds, propaganda, and no real life since birth. Kashmir’s armed and passive resistance saw many phases, but New Delhi and Islamabad showed no real will to solve our Kashmir dispute. India confused tourist arrivals and phases of normalcy with the end of the Kashmir dispute, and as a result, anger with every agitation turned into lava. In 2008, the civil agitation in Kashmir was, probably, the first time in the history of nations that a movement shifted the mode of resistance from guns to stones, but the Indian state showed no will to address conflict and appreciate this positive change. Today, in the summer of 2016, Kashmir is once again simmering in the aftermath of killings, injuries and blinding of eyes by pellet guns in unabated protests that followed the killing of the militant commander, Burhan Wani. A look at our lives here in Kashmir resembles a scene from a painful horror movie. While on one hand, militarisation defines our lives the continuous conflict and killings ruin our hearts. And on other hand, pellet guns blind us, and unprecedented bouts of curfews cripple us. Since my birth I have no idea of an evening life in Kashmir owing to the volatile situation, which adds to our daily woes and depression. In the face of an unaddressed conflict, Kashmiris have just seen such pain and frustration since decades now that it should awaken the conscience of humanity. Indian media and state calling every democratic movement of Kashmir as endorsed, perpetrated or financed by Pakistan is akin to rubbing salt on our wounds, aggravating the situation further. Rape victims, pellet victims, unmarked graves, fake encounters, real encounters, tortures, blinded people, killed protesters, gagging of Internet, snapping communication, silence of graveyards, and ineffective committees have delineated the handling of the Kashmir conflict. To add to miseries of the already frustrated Kashmiris, terms like anti-nationals, terrorist supporters and traitors are some of the epithets that are used to spew venom against Kashmiri students, young people and non-partisan members of Indian society by a section of the powerful corporate Indian media, adding fuel to fire. With a few select panelists it has almost become a holy duty of this corporate media of India to castigate and suppress the voice of the voiceless in India. All this adds to rage on ground out here. When I travel to Indian cities and other parts of the world I feel we Kashmiris have been deprived of our rights to live a progressive, peaceful and normal life due to the lingering political conflict. Places full of hustle and bustle welcome you while in Kashmir depression and suffocation has become our fate. We are not even able to enjoy beauty of world-class tourist spots in our region due to the pensive atmosphere of Kashmir. The consequences of the simmering conflict have been most devastating, unfolding in one big truth: today, a majority of Kashmiris having lost the will to live. They want to die as they believe this life of pain is not worth living. Today, the youth of Kashmir on streets say: you kill us, you maim us, you jail us, but we will bear all of that for the resolution of conflict, freedom and plebiscite. Even the former chief minister, and leader of the mainstream, pro-India party, National Conference, Omar Abdullah stated during an interview on India Today: “For want of a better set of words, India has actually been dishonest with the people of Jammu and Kashmir.” Question marks are clearly on the Indian state that calls itself the biggest democracy in the world as to why Kashmiris have lost the will to live. Perhaps it is high time that, at least, a political process was started, and the seriousness of the issue was not brushed under the carpet each time Kashmir burnt with a new intensity and rage. The writer is a freelance journalist and can be reached at rameezh3@gmail.com