When Steve Jobs entered his office on his first day at Apple, he saw a shelf beautifully decorated with different electronic gadgets. He asked his assistant about the things on the shelf. The assistant replied that it was the rare collection of the most innovative products that Apple had produced so far. Jobs said: “My office is not the right place for them. Old things should be kept in museum, not in offices. If I see them every day, I can never create my masterpiece.” As we all know, the rest is history, and the story still continue.
Having read about this unperishable belief and self-confidence of one of the greatest men in the last one hundred-and-fifty-year history of business world, one question often bothers me: what makes life happy for some people and miserable for others? Why are some people leaders and what is it that makes others mere followers? What makes some people successfully influential and others a simple crowd?
If you closely read the life of most of the successful people in the world, including Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Ted Turner and Warren Buffet, you will see that they are professionally aggressive and hard as nails. They have one thing in common: they were hungry for success, hungry for growth, hungry for being the highest performing person, hungry for making a difference in the world, and hungry for being the best version of themselves, in spite of the fact that all of them lacked resources when they started their professional lives.
In our country, many people have stories to tell. They did not have enough resources, enough time, the right contacts, the right technology, the right people, family support, the right skills, the right education, or the right leader. These are the stories we tell ourselves because we don’t want to get out of our comfort zones. Many of the biggest athletes, businessmen, politicians and multibillionaires have been lacking resources. But lacking resources has never been the problem; lacking “resourcefulness” is the real problem. What I mean is very simple: the ultimate resource in our life is human emotions.
A clear sense of purpose will compel you into action and fuel your bravery to overcome any obstacle. Be crystal clear about why it is so important for you to pursue your vision for success and achieve your goals
What makes you sad or happy? Married or divorced? Businessman or a hard-working employee? Successful or a failure? It is emotions. Many of the world’s greatest people did not have resources but they had resourcefulness, which helped them get the resources. Their struggle and life are a vivid evidence that if you are creative enough to generate your resources you can. Creativity is an emotional resource that helps you find an answer to a problem. If you are determined enough you can find the money you don’t have. If you are caring enough for other people you can give them help. If you are disappointed but strong enough you can find a solution to problems other people can’t find. It means our ultimate resource is not money, time, technology, the right contacts, or the right skills, but it is resourcefulness. It is the ability to create and realise your actual potential of a high performing person.
The point is we all have a story why we are where we are. We have a built-in story in our mind because we are afraid to fail; we are afraid to lose; we are afraid to take a risk; we are afraid of separation; we are afraid of rejection; we are afraid of being worthless; we are not ready to do our own reality check; and we do not have courage to know our bottom lines. As a result, many of us are not where we want to be. Your story protects you, but at the same time, it imprisons you. It makes you a coward. The idea that I want to inculcate is that as long as you are not going to change your story you are not going to change your life.
Nurturing many of such stories not only hold us from pursuing our passion and dreams but also make us remain mediocre, and ultimately, our growth stops. This attitude needs to change if you really want to grow and make an impact in this world.
How you can change your story? Some of the most important strategies that I have studied are from the lives of the most successful, the most iconic people of this world, including, at the top of the list, Prophet Mohammad (pbuh). From the recent history, it would be Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Maya Angelo, Bryn Acton, Nick Vujicic, Mohammad Ali, Abdul Sattar Edhi and Usain Bolt.
First, decide what you want in life. You cannot be what you cannot see. It’s impossible to create your ideal “dream life” if you aren’t sure what it looks like. Many people have no idea what they want to be and where they want to be. If you don’t know where you’re going, you may end up someplace you don’t much like. Leaving everything in the hands of fate does not make you a saint. So before you do anything else, give yourself some time with a blank page to map out what a truly extraordinary life looks like for you: physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally, in your relationships, the work you do, and the impact you make.
Secondly, know why you want it. A clear sense of purpose will compel you into action and fuel your bravery to overcome any obstacle. Be crystal clear about why it is so important for you to pursue your vision for success and achieve your goals. When your “why” is about serving something bigger than your ego and need for significance, you shall be more powerful in achieving it and figuring out the “hows.” The more you use the gifts you have to serve others, the more you’ll get the gifts you want.
Next is action because the universe applauds action not thought. Take action, take massive actions every day. It’s easy to live with stories, excuses and false justifications about why you can’t do what you want, at least, not now, maybe later. Nothing is more powerful than an action to defeat your fears, and nothing is as terrible as living in fears. Paulo Coelho said: “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”
Start talking to inspiring people. Extend an invitation. Risk a rejection. Ask for an introduction. Introduce yourself to an influencer. Offer your services. Ask for help. Learn a skill. Read biographies of the greatest. Hire a coach. Join a group. JUST DO SOMETHING. Every. Single. Day.
The fourth strategy is to use powerful vocabulary and tell stories that expand possibilities for yourself and others. You don’t see the world as it is but as you are. Your vocabulary should be powerful enough to create an impact on the next person. Use of words like “maybe”, “let’s see”, “not sure” displays a weak personality. Accordingly, the words you use to describe your present, past, or future create the reality you inhabit. If you cast yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll be just that. If you cast yourself as the CEO of your fate and the start of your own film, you’ll be that too.
Last but not the least: find your “A team.” Never underestimate the impact of the people around you to move you forward or hold you back. As Den Pena said, “Show me your friends and I will show your future.” Tony Robbins said, “Your life is a direct reflection of the expectations of those around you.” If the people you’re hanging out with aren’t bringing out your best and bravest, step out of your comfort zone and find people who will. These are people who aren’t ready to settle for mediocrity and who want nothing less for you.
Summing up my theory of changing your story to change your life, nothing is easier as it seems and there are no short cuts in life. It is travelogue of continuous growth. You are not here to just eat, drink and get married but you are here to make a difference. You are here to write you own story like Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom, Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl, and Phil Knight’s Shoe Dog. All it takes to change your life is deciding that the time has arrived to step up and do just that.
The writer is a life coach at the University of Success and tweets at @AsifMalik30