It Takes A Village To Rape A Child is my journey through physical and mental hardship as a child growing up in Lahore during the 60’s and 70’s. I wrote this novel at the age of fifty nine, a few years after the passing of my mother. I wanted to write about my journey because it is not my journey alone.
There are millions of women world wide like me who have endured such journeys, and worse, and lived to tell of them. But telling of such journeys is no easy feat. The taboo surrounding physical and mental abuse of children in Pakistan society remains a road block to social progress. It is a subject not many, especially women, are willing to talk about openly.
In Pakistan, it is common that young children are exploited physically yet no one dares to question or take issue with a subject that brings so much shame. Family honor forbids the victim to come forward. Those who do speak up are rebuked to the point of being annihilated. My story is similar despite the fact that my parents were well educated. The plague of child abuse goes beyond borders of education and economics. It affects children globally across the divides of religion and culture. Yet we are so afraid to broach the subject.
It Takes A Village To Rape A Child exposes how family systems collectively make child rape possible. It is a candid story in which I speak openly about things no one is willing to speak of.
In an era of women speaking up as “me-too” designees, one has recently encountered many stories that were hitherto kept secret. Yet women are slowly but surely breaking through the silence, ignoring the repercussions, bearing social stigma, and telling the truth. It is an important break through in cultures of subversion and oppression.
Being a survivor of molestation portend a very hard life for those who experience it. Victim shaming of those against whom such heinous crimes are perpetuated forbids victims to come forward.
I was shamed for being a victim of molestation and rape. I was told I was an unworthy woman who did not deserve to be respected or acknowledged
Instead of being encouraged for having the courage to speak up, women like me are often chastised for being hungry for attention. No one wishes to call out attention to that which is broken on oneself. But if no one is willing to speak about that which hurts at a deep level, the hurt never begins to heal.
The word rape instantly brings a shame attached to it no one is willing to acknowledge. Yet, if one doesn’t get past the shame, and speak up, this heinous crime gets thrown in a well of ignorance, cover up, disbelief. It requires a huge act of courage and self awareness to write one’s story and tell it like it is.
Many people don’t believe your story is true. You have to get past public opinion and speak up anyway. You are shamed for telling such painful secrets. You have to get past the shame and speak up anyway. You are made to feel no good. You have to get past feeling no good and speak up anyway. Truth comes with a huge price. You have to pay the price and speak up anyway.
In “It Takes A Village To Rape A Child” I tell the story of how I was molested by a hoard of elder relatives in Lahore, and how the family and social system, failed me completely. I was told I was a liar. I was told to keep my story to myself and never reveal the truth about under handed family matters. I was shamed for being a victim of molestation and rape. I was told I was an unworthy woman who did not deserve to be respected or acknowledged.
I left the country when my own daughter was growing up for fear she would suffer the same treatment I had endured in silence for too long. It has taken me decades to begin to heal, and have the courage to finally write my life story. The book goes from my being born in a dingy clinic in Lahore, to being educated in the Convent of Jesus and Mary, and Kinnaird College, to going abroad to study, and moving to California. It speaks of the journey of my parents after the 1947 partition.
It tells of how a vulnerable child was used for the lust of perverted males both inside and outside the family. It shows the incidents and affects such abuse has on the mind set of a child and how it is almost impossible to find peace and healing once such events have occurred.
However, most importantly, it testifies that the human spirit is capable of understanding, forgiving and overcoming. It ends on a happy note in that it shows how life goes on and how one can over come the past, embrace the present and allow for a glorious future no matter how un-glorious the origins.
“It Takes A Village To Rape A Child-The Story Of My Life,” by Samina Chamma Rashid will be published via Amazon and available at midnight on line December 1st 2019, to mark the celebration of the year 2020.
The writer holds two Masters degrees, MA Communication and MSc Clinical Psychology, Certified Therapist she authored ‘It Takes A Village To Rape A Child’