Khanum Bibi, 65, has kept a photo of her son Muhammad Tariq close by all the time for 12 years. At the mud brick house in Mohmand Agency, she has spent her days and nights since Tariq’s death at age 17 in 2005, waiting for some news about the recovery of her son’s body. Tariq was part of a convoy of 60 men from Pakistan and Afghanistan travelling illegally through Iran into Turkey. From Turkey, the convoy was to enter Greece and continue its journey on land to United Kingdom. The boat carrying Tariq and 29 other men capsized on its way to Turkey. Tariq’s brother Baswali Khan recalls that he was on duty at Miran Shah district headquarters (DHQ) hospital when his father called to inform him about his young brother’s decision to travel to Europe through a Peshawar-based agent. “I thought he was joking with me. I asked myself how could Tariq travel all the way to Europe? He hadn’t ever stepped out of the village,” Khan says. When Baswali Khan returned home on leave from work after a month, he found that Tariq had left already. “My father told me that an Afghan agent known in the area as Mula Sharbat had arranged the journey for Rs500,000,” he says, “I was shocked. I had heard so many stories of young men lured into travelling illegally to Europe who ended up losing their lives in the journey. I couldn’t believe my parents had let him go.” Baswali says the family remained in contact with Tariq for around two months after his departure. During telephonic conversations, Tariq told the family that he had obtained a visa for Iran and was now preparing to set off for Turkey. “He seemed upset over lack of satisfactory arrangements by the travel agent,” Baswali recalls with tears in his eyes. “I insisted that he should return home. I tried to convince him that the journey was too risky and he should not be worried about the money spent already,” he says. But Tariq refused, telling his brother he won’t return home until he has built a future for himself and the family. After two months, the family lost all contact with Tariq. They waited for another three months but there was no news about progress in his journey through Iran. Baswali says the family decided to send a jirga (a council of elders) to the Afghan agent Mula Sharbat at his office in Peshawar’s Namak Mandi bazar. “We told hims upfront that we were willing to pay more but we just wanted him to bring Tariq back. He agreed and told us to give him a week to establish contact with Tariq,” he says. A week past but the family did not hear from the agent. When Baswali contacted him, he was told that the boat carrying Tariq had sunk in the sea. Baswali says he still remembers that winter night vividly. With a heavy heart, he headed towards his parents’ room to deliver the news to them. “I was in tears as I entered their room. My father asked me what was wrong with me and I told him and my mother that their younger son had passed away. Mother fell unconscious and father covered his face with blanket to hide his sorrow,” he recalls. Tariq’s father developed trachoma, an infectious disease, and died two years later. His mother is battling hypertension since then. Tariq’s cousin Sadiq was also part of the same convoy but the boat he was travelling on managed to stay afloat as it touched the shore. Sadiq is now 30-years-old and he runs a grocery shop in the main bazaar of Mohmand Agency. Sadiq recalls that the agents taking the convoy through Iran decided that the land route was too dangerous and opted for a journey through the sea. The lower section of the boat Sadiq boarded was packed with packets of heroin and weapons that were to be smuggled into Europe. “We were between 40 and 50 people, packed into a single room,” Sadiq says. The journey did not start for seven days and the group remained stuck in the room with poor food and hygiene. On Day 8, the journey resumed at 3am in the morning. They were told that the destination was Turkey. As soon as the boat entered Turk waters, it came under attack from Turkish naval forces. Sadiq says the captain managed to avoid the Turkish navy and told them that he was returning to where they started the journey. As they were about to reach the shore, they came under attack once again. As we entered shallow water, the convoy was told to leave the boat and follow the handlers towards a nearby shelter. On the way, Tariq got hit by a bullet. Sadiq says a few others also got shot and died on the spot. They left the bodies and rushed for safety. The group gathered again at some place along the Iranian border. “I told Tariq let’s move back to Pakistan. But he refused. He said we had sold our family assets so we couldn’t return empty handed,” he says. After 10 days, Sadiq says the agent told them that they try to travel to Turkey from a different route. This time, there were 60 people. The agent who identified himself as Murabe Mamoon adjusted 30 passengers each in two boats and the journey resumed. Sadiq says the boat he was travelling in reached Turkey in two hours but there were no signs of the other boat. Tariq was on that boat, he says. When he asked the agent about the other boat, he was told that it was expected to arrive that night. Seven days passed and there was no news of the other boat. “I called Mula Sharbat in Peshawar and told him about the absence of the other boat. He said he will check and get back to me. When another 15 days passed, I approached the agent I was travelling with and inquired about the boat. I was told it had been caught by the Turkish navy and the passengers taken in as prisoners. I could tell something was fishy. Other travelers told me that the agent had been very upset the night our boat reached Turkey. He was chain smoking that night,” he says. Sadiq says he could not believe the version of events narrated to him so he barged into the agent’s room late that night and asked him to tell him the truth or get ready to be beaten up. “That is when he told me that the other boat had capsized and 28 Pakistanis including Tariq drowned,” he says. Sadiq says he was overcome with sorrow and fear. “Tariq and I were close friends since childhood. I was also ashamed to face the family. How will I tell them that I managed to reach Turkey but Tariq couldn’t?” he sayss. He recalls that the ordeal wasn’t over just then. “Our agent then demanded that we pay him $3,000 per traveler for arrangements in Europe. When we refused, he threatened to get us killed or hand us over to the police, he says. That night, the group decided to run away from the agent. “We ran away to a nearby city from where he called Mula Sharbat and told him about the agent’s demand, he says. Then Mula Sharbat pulled some strings and managed another agent for the group. Eventually, 20 men who had started the journey in Peshawar managed to reach UK alive. The rest died on the way from shooting by the coast guards or hunger and disease. In London, Sadiq couldn’t adjust to the vagaries of everyday life. Thousands of miles away from home and always in search of work opportunities, London did not turn out to be the city of Sadiq’s dreams. “The stories I had heard about London and the city shown in the movie was so much different from real life London,” Sadiq says. In three years, he got deported and returned to his hometown where he now runs a small business. “I’m happy here. At least, my family and relatives are around here. I appeal to all young men to stay away from human smugglers,” he says. While Sadiq has found peace in the hometown, Tariq’s mother remains impatient. “I have lost my son. My only wish is for his body to be returned so that we can bury him here in the village. The news of his death has left us aggrieved. If he has died, then where is his body?” she asks. The writer is a freelance journalist working for leading Pakistani publications including Dawn.com and Pakistan Saga. He covers FATA, KP and Baluchistan and issues pertaining to minorities, culture, militancy and human smuggling. Published in Daily Times, November 23rd 2017.