Malala Yousafzai has revealed candid details of secretly dating her husband, Asser Malik, during her years at Oxford University in her forthcoming memoir, Finding My Way.
The excerpt, published by Vogue ahead of the book’s October 21 release, offers a deeply personal look into her romance and life as a student.
She described private meetings, wardrobe changes, and navigating parental expectations while keeping the relationship hidden from public view and her own family.
Malala wrote: “Asser’s arrival vanquished the dark clouds that hung over the prospect of my third term at Oxford, but it wasn’t exactly the carefree summer romance of rom-coms.”
She recalled: “I worried a lot about getting caught. I ran behind a hedge to hide, alarming both Asser and my security team.”
One date involved a wardrobe switch to avoid parental disapproval.
She wore a modest shalwar kameez, then changed into a sleeveless, fitted pink dress and heels. “When I returned to the table, Asser sat up straight and his mouth broke into a smile I hadn’t seen before,” she wrote. “He whispered, ‘You’re a sex bomb!'” She admitted that her secrecy extended to family. Her father informed her mother, who objected strongly. Malala recalled hearing her mother say: “Absolutely not! Does he even speak Pashto? She must marry a Pashtun man!”
Malala explained the tension her relationship caused.
“They anticipated a scandal and said I should stop seeing him. I wasn’t going to do that,” she wrote.
She shared that her parents’ opposition led her to ask Malik:
“Could we pause our feelings for now until I finish my studies at Oxford?”
Malik replied: “I’m not sure feelings work that way. But, for you, I’m willing to try,” showing their commitment despite uncertainty and pressure.
Nearly four years after their intimate wedding in Birmingham, England, Malala is offering a rare look at the origins of their relationship in her most personal work yet.
In addition to her romance, Finding My Way documents her time at Oxford and her journey of self-discovery, making it a deeply revealing autobiography.
A multi-city book tour will follow the release, offering audiences insight into Malala’s story of love, family conflict, resilience and finding her voice. Finding My Way will be published on October 21.