For a few days, I chatted with him. He was talking about him getting better and the best days ahead. He was in a Chennai hospital breathing his last. And I was busy texting him from Islamabad. We are good friends. I had the pleasure of meeting him a few years back and instantaneously decided to become friends.
We were both from New York and had a detailed conversation about the good old days. We lived in the same year and had similar lifestyles, and life painted the same colors for different people. Later in the evenings, we talked in the park about our kids and families. He loved fruits, and we would walk outside for fresh air.
Our conversations are clear. We had a viewpoint of best practices and mindsets. He was very humble. Never complained and never despaired. He loved his wife and spoke much about her. He had three wonderful boys and spoke daily about them. The stories were fascinating.
Sometimes, you meet a great person and tend to have memories for a lifetime. You do not anticipate them withering away.
A few months later, he was getting ill. I was worried. I am sure his family was, too. He had a rare lung disease. I immediately connected him with my brother, a leading pulmonologist in the United States of America. I got to know that the days are not there. He needs an urgent lung transplant. And that began his journey to India.
We were on chats. He was talking about India and the beautiful things to do after recovery. He never told me he hated life or that this was unfair. I miss him.
This is the story of Saqib Azmat. A dear friend of mine that lost his life. But he won the hearts of his friends and family.
Let me tell you about the humble man who loved his family. He was a man who stood the test of time and ensured that he kept fighting till the end. He was a warrior. He is a man of constant growth. He knew how to make friends and keep the friendships alive.
I am sure that many others will tell you about him. I am not the only one he has impacted.
The story is about Saqib and many of him. We will all be leaving. Some leave with many years left behind. The question we pose as a psychologist is that death is also a phase, and it needs to be prepared for.
It is not a blind spot, and you anticipate it to hit you. There is a financial element to this and a moral and emotional equation to look at. Prepare for the end, keeping the long term in mind. Having children is a blessing. Leave them with memories and a reason to remember you. Tell them you love them in a way that resonates many years later. Never leave any argument behind, waiting for a tomorrow to begin. It never does.
You need to prepare for death. The first step is the acceptance phase. This cannot be denied. With that in mind, you must be aware of the timeless notification. You have yet to determine when that day will come. It will. So, acceptance is critical. You get to realize the importance of saying the unsaid goodbyes earlier on.
Prepare for an end that is seamless in time. Be kind to people. Like Saqib was. Realize that you leave indelible imprints on people. The power of life is too great of a thing to pass away.
Saying goodbye is never easy. I never wanted to write this for Saqib. I was looking forward to many amazing days and seeing our children grow. I was looking forward to seeing him again in Karachi, where I lost, saw him, and talked all night long about our odd experiences.
Maybe one day, Saqib, I will see you again. Till then, I will keep you in my prayers and let you rest in peace. You were a legend in the making and a man powerful enough to face death with acceptance and life. I do not even know how you could do that. That was the superpower you had.
Mr. Ahmed Sheikh is a highly accomplished psychologist with over 20 years of experience specializing in wellness, positive psychology, mindfulness, and depression management. His expertise extends to training police, corporations, institutions, and government agencies in leadership, management skills, and coping with various psychological challenges.