People and events invariably conjure up images in our minds, some pleasant, some disagreeable and some downright ridiculous and outrageous. Pakistani rulers and leaders remind me of a Charles Dickens character called “artful dodger” from the novel Oliver Twist. The troupes of clowns who pass muster as rulers and leaders here have an uncanny character resemblance to him. Anyone good at avoiding responsibility or the consequences of actions is commonly referred to as an artful dodger. In the novel, Jack Dawkins, a pickpocket, is called “The Dodger” for his skill and cunning. His innate ability to deceive and rob makes him the leader of a gang of child criminals trained by the elderly Fagin. Dodger becomes Oliver’s closest friend but conveniently betrays him when Oliver is mistakenly caught. Ultimately, Dodger is caught with a stolen silver snuff box and chooses to consider himself a “victim of society”, roaring in the courtroom, “I am an Englishman; where are my rights?” Dickens then describes him, “With these last words, the Dodger suffered himself to be led off by the collar, threatening, till he got into the yard, to make a parliamentary business of it, and then grinning in the officer’s face, with great glee and self-approval.” Do these posturing and dealings not look familiar? Whenever the leaders here are exposed, their protestations and pronouncements are largely similar. Artful dodgers here have supernatural skills in thievery, stealth, dissembling and deceit; the more proficient they are the higher their positions and ranks. Fagin or no Fagin, these skills come to them naturally. In the US, gifts given by states to the president are the US National Archives’ property. He and his spouse are allowed to keep gifts of a value less than $ 50, a limit of $ 100 per source annually is observed. Here, rulers enact laws to usurp gifts that they have neither earned nor deserve to illegally enrich themselves. Shaukat Aziz reduced the reserved price for these by 15 to 25 percent in 2006. A summary proposing an increase in the same was rejected by the Prime Minister’s Secretariat last year. Here the shameless loot, that is what it is, is mind-boggling. When Shaukat Aziz departed, he must have needed a special plane, as must have Musharraf, to transport those illegally gotten gifts. Most gifts, he decided, were not expensive enough to declare and those for which he paid Rs 1.6 million only were conservatively valued at Rs 50 million. Zafarullah Khan Jamali took only 68 gifts worth Rs 4 million, received during his18 month tenure. He lagged far behind Musharraf’s 168 declared gifts worth Rs 40 million and Aziz’s 736. Musharraf even took a napkin. A news report last year said that President Asif Zardari allegedly set a record by taking one-third of all expensive gifts during the first year of his presidency, valued at Rs 160 million. PM Gilani, while in Brussels last year, had a meal worth Euros 25,000; makes you wonder what the menu was. The hotels they stay in and the expenses they incur, without remorse, on foreign trips are distressing and disgusting. Here no one has scruples and ethics to resist the temptation — they earnestly believe in making hay while the sun shines. Sheikh Saadi has explained this avarice in Gulistan. He narrates his meeting with a merchant who brags about his extensive trade and then asks his opinion. Saadi says: “Aan shuneed asti kay dar sehra-e-ghaur, Bar-e-salari be uftad az sutoor, Guft chashm-e-tang duniya dar ra, Ya qanaat pur kund ya khaak-e-gor.” Translation: “Haven’t you heard of a merchant in Desert of Ghaur, Who tumbled from the camel to the sandy floor? Chastised, he quoth; ‘Only contentedness or grave’s dirt Can satiate those who eternally crave for more and more’.” Here, even the hard-earned money of the Hajjis is not spared; it is kosher as well. This inherent avarice is neither considered an aberration nor folly and it has ‘passed the dinner-table test’ and become socially acceptable; wealth is now the only criteria for judging a person’s worth. But then this flaw pales in front of other disasters that emerge from the doings of ‘artful dodgers’. They profess liberalism but when one of them dares to take on the bearded brigade, like Salmaan Taseer did, they not only cower and retreat, but also come out supporting the clergy to make the challenger guilty. The MQM controls cities through guns and intimidation and then present bills in parliament for deweaponisation. Even their coalition partner’s maverick home minister alleges that it is the MQM that runs the extortion racket in the city and is involved in target killing. Then there is the chief minister who likes to recite Habib Jalib’s revolutionary poetry but wants to rule Punjab single-handedly. The powerless Balochistan government blames the FC for running a parallel government and is unable to stop the killing of innocents, yet keeps clinging to its useless authority. The flood victims are still shelter-less but luxury lodges for parliamentarians are given the go-ahead by the PM. How does one explain the Rangers action in Karachi if the Interior Minister, Rehman Malik, and Sindh Home Minister not only deny responsibility but also knowledge; certainly the Rangers were not US drones operating from a stratosphere unbeknownst to them. People would appreciate being informed about who really rules in the land of the pure so they can at least blame those responsible. They agree to drone attacks in private but make feeble protests in public. It is a deep, deep rot and those who elect them and select them, and those who do not resist them are equally to blame. Saadi rightly says: “Na dahad hooshmand roshan rai, Ba faromaya, kar hai khateer, Booriya baaf agar che bafinda aast, Na barandish ba kargah-e-hareer.” Translation: “Bunglers are never trusted by the sagacious, With tasks which by nature are momentous, Sack-weavers too are weavers though, but Asking them to weave silk is verily injudicious.” The rulers here have always remained oblivious to the plight of the people and will continue to because they are assured of return by deceiving people during elections or creeping in with dictators. Do not expect a repeat of Tunisia here as people no longer have any fight left in them. Fatalism has taken its toll. The writer has an association with the Baloch rights movement going back to the early 1970s. He can be contacted at mmatalpur@gmail.com