“Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” — George Washington. He who says a fool at 40 is a fool forever has not heard of this great country of ours and this might come as a great surprise because unless one lives under a rock or a great shroud of ignorance, the name Nigeria should be etched in the minds of every living person by now. Having been in existence for almost 100 years as a nation, our bald spot as well as the grey hairs we have grown (from being sucked dry and burnt down) are all the evidence we need (and have) to prove our wisdom to anyone. We have aggressively managed to shelve a lot of misdeeds from times past and present, and our shelving ability provides us with hope that no matter what arises against us in this country, we will make more shelf room. A ride down memory lane will reveal that it is our great experiences that have strengthened us. Do you remember the Nigerian civil war? Everyone knows that the Nigerian civil war is the only conflict we’ve ever had in this nation and even then few lives were lost — unlucky people who found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. Other sundry community clashes, Niger delta emancipation struggles, and Boko Haram’s killing sprees do not merit a mention in our spotless history. These are just minor issues. I remember that Gowon was quoted as saying after the civil war that the victory was not against the Igbos but against those who wanted to destroy us. You see, the only problem Nigeria has are these faceless ghosts who are always trying to destroy us. They are not Igbo or Yoruba or Hausa; they are “those” people who want to taint our immaculate record. It is common knowledge that no ethnic group within Nigeria is discriminated against or marginalised. Those who cry foul are just playing to the gallery by trying to paint us as tribal, unfair and exploitative. These are but frivolous allegations because our federal character system provides a level playing ground for competent and incompetent people alike: men, women, under-aged voters and livestock included. Our country is a great one indeed. Tell me, which other country placates its militants by sending them on holidays and training abroad? It does not matter how much blood they have shed. You see, this is what we call the carrot and the stick approach — we allow them to shed as much blood as they want and when they are satiated, we offer them the carrot. Sanusi once complained about a one billion Naira carrot. Isn’t this chicken feed in our stupendously rich Nigeria? I have heard many liken the Nigerian government to a business organisation, interested in enriching the pockets of its officials. In our Nigeria where one can rise overnight from being shoeless to being highly placed, all I can say to these ingrates is, wait your turn. There is a general belief that Nigerians are a happy people and we all know this is true. We have a rare gift of finding the silver lining in every situation. We know how to speak out when our legislators make laws we don’t like and after a while we learn to give things a rest and wait for another issue to arise. After all, you cannot flog a dead horse back to life. Nigerian excitement is a necessary ingredient for human existence. If you doubt it, ask our diasporas social media activists. These cowards throw stones from far away lands nudging Nigerians in Nigeria to walk the walk, while they talk the talk. The division of labour works for everyone involved. We all become news celebrities, an experience we can add to our CVs. At this point, we must hail our prayerfulness, a characteristic that has solved many of our problems. That is why our President has rightly declared that fervent prayers will solve the insurgency issue. I agree with this but I am still confounded that a well funded intercessory committee has not been appointed. Is not praying for the solution to our problem as important as the National Confab? We all know that faith can move mountains. There are many examples to choose from but my favourite is the way the walls of Jericho crumbled with ‘prayers’. Tell me, which military plan could be better than this? Our centenary celebration must go on and illustrious sons must be rewarded. Many critics have said that this is wrong considering that just a night before, innocent children were slaughtered, but tell me, who is really innocent? By stopping the celebrations, we let our enemies win — those faceless ghosts, trying to pull us down. And what is this ruckus about the awards being given to our heroic past heads of state and commanders-in-chief? Why can’t people just forgive them, overlook their abuses of human rights, forget their corrupt thieving and wait their turn? Are we not ingrates when it takes their children to remind us that they reduced inflation, tarred roads and spared our lives? It is Nigerian to respect the dead. How can we fight people who cannot talk back or defend themselves? We need to understand that when death suddenly hits someone who didn’t get the chance to tighten the loose ends of his offshore accounts like his contemporaries, he should be spoken about with some measure of sympathy. Let us turn the fight toward the living. Nigerian democracy is thriving. Ours provides a fair platform for failed ex-presidents and ex-convicts alike. We need not worry about defections as a new name is all it takes to erase past misdeeds. Our greatest democratic achievement is settlement. Take the recent Nigerian Immigration Service recruitment as an example. All it took to solve our unemployment problem was to conduct a hasty stadium interview. And when this went awry, our good president settled bereaved families with jobs. Other nations should emulate our robust democracy and genius for providing employment. A word for the Nigerians swamping hospitals claiming imaginary injuries — you are too late so wait the next turn. The journey so far has been tough and although we know that tougher scenarios lie ahead, we believe that we are well equipped to stay together as one big Nigeria– the cracks can always be painted over. More burning issues like forcing girls to be married off whenever her parents see fit; keeping homosexuality at bay; scolding our philandering celebrities; checking what our youth say on social network sites and ensuring they do not insult their elders sporadically; maintaining our private jets with the billions they require and providing Nigerians with more generators and less fuel to power their homes, must be tackled without further ado. The writer is a freelance columnist. He blogs at www.chizitereojiaka.blogspot.com