What on earth happened to our plasticine men? Why, exactly, having come to the conclusion that a curved rib cannot be straightened because it will break, do they proceed in the fruitless endeavour of breaking it? Would it not make more sense to mould their plasticine selves around the skeleton provided by unchanging women? Has it occurred to them? How could it? This is demanding the impossible of our plasticines! They live in a hypocritical society because they have forced this madness into their relationships with their women. “My wife must obey me,” says the plasticine man, strutting about, a rooster on the top of a mud heap. “Of course,” chorus all other plasticine men. “Of course,” choruses the crooked rib, having given up her right to inheritance, property ownership, work, any choice in marriage, divorce, remarriage, maintenance of her children, etc, so that the plasticine man is now her only source of survival. But — and herein lies the rub — it is truly impossible to live by the dictates of our plasticine man who, in order to be easily moulded, gave up the first requirement for leadership: integrity. Plasticine man has moulded himself into the most selfish being on earth. After all, he is perfect. It is the woman he is forced to live with who is a crooked rib. Therefore, it is his desires that are all important, not that of this unnatural being called woman. Never mind that this unnatural being is bringing up his children. Never mind that these children are going to witness, practically, the importance of hypocrisy as a way of life and truth as a concept to be trotted out in every conversation on the corruption of society at large but scoffed at in practice. “Polio drops? Do not tell your good and great father I took you to have them.” “Toffees? Do not tell your good and great father that I had sufficient money to buy them for you.” “Visited the maternal grandparents today? Do not tell your good and great father we went there today.” Of course, at the maternal home, the good and great father whom the mother never says no to, whom the child must obey without question, is freely discussed. “My husband is an utter and complete jahil. He spends all his money on wine and women. As if I do not know what he is doing! He ignores his children. Do you know, I cannot buy my son new shoes because there is never enough money? He has spent it all on his other women! And yesterday, when I mentioned it, you should have heard the language he used! I actually thought he would hit me! Why did you make me marry him? What did you see in him?” “It is alright, beta (child),” comes the reply, “aadmi hotay hi aisay hain.” And so we grow another generation of hypocrites, who do not have even a conceptual understanding of the word truth, never ever having had it demonstrated to them in their impressionable years. Before they became crooked ribs. So, in our country of the blind, our definitely crooked women never have the sense to realise that the answer lies in the strength of their position. It is they who form the skeleton of society; it is they who mould the plasticine men. If only they would set the limits. Men are like this because we do not have the sense to stand up for our own right to human dignity. We will no longer forgive all of men’s shortcomings with the words “aadmi hotay hi aisay hain.” Nor will we give up our God-given rights to inherit, earn, marry, divorce, raise our children how we please and basically live the life of a human being instead of a cow chewing the cud in the corner of a cold, damp, dark and constricted barn. Of course, this is a very tall order for a crooked rib. However, we have seen the performance of our plasticine men for a very, very, very long time and it is not encouraging. Plasticine may have its advantages but the strength to hold up a whole bodily structure is not one of them. Until then, we will create more and more Junaid Jamsheds who will commit inadvertent blasphemy by viewing the Prophet’s (PBUH) wife as (God forbid!) a woman and will draw a chorus of defenders insisting that he must be forgiven for this transgression because, after all, he is a maulvi with a big beard as opposed to being a beardless Christian/poor/female/Salmaan Taseer/human being. “Beta, aadmi hotay hi aisay hain.” (Concluded) What on earth happened to our plasticine men? Why, exactly, having come to the conclusion that a curved rib cannot be straightened because it will break, do they proceed in the fruitless endeavour of breaking it? Would it not make more sense to mould their plasticine selves around the skeleton provided by unchanging women? Has it occurred to them? How could it? This is demanding the impossible of our plasticines! They live in a hypocritical society because they have forced this madness into their relationships with their women. “My wife must obey me,” says the plasticine man, strutting about, a rooster on the top of a mud heap. “Of course,” chorus all other plasticine men. “Of course,” choruses the crooked rib, having given up her right to inheritance, property ownership, work, any choice in marriage, divorce, remarriage, maintenance of her children, etc, so that the plasticine man is now her only source of survival. But — and herein lies the rub — it is truly impossible to live by the dictates of our plasticine man who, in order to be easily moulded, gave up the first requirement for leadership: integrity. Plasticine man has moulded himself into the most selfish being on earth. After all, he is perfect. It is the woman he is forced to live with who is a crooked rib. Therefore, it is his desires that are all important, not that of this unnatural being called woman. Never mind that this unnatural being is bringing up his children. Never mind that these children are going to witness, practically, the importance of hypocrisy as a way of life and truth as a concept to be trotted out in every conversation on the corruption of society at large but scoffed at in practice. “Polio drops? Do not tell your good and great father I took you to have them.” “Toffees? Do not tell your good and great father that I had sufficient money to buy them for you.” “Visited the maternal grandparents today? Do not tell your good and great father we went there today.” Of course, at the maternal home, the good and great father whom the mother never says no to, whom the child must obey without question, is freely discussed. “My husband is an utter and complete jahil. He spends all his money on wine and women. As if I do not know what he is doing! He ignores his children. Do you know, I cannot buy my son new shoes because there is never enough money? He has spent it all on his other women! And yesterday, when I mentioned it, you should have heard the language he used! I actually thought he would hit me! Why did you make me marry him? What did you see in him?” “It is alright, beta (child),” comes the reply, “aadmi hotay hi aisay hain.” And so we grow another generation of hypocrites, who do not have even a conceptual understanding of the word truth, never ever having had it demonstrated to them in their impressionable years. Before they became crooked ribs. So, in our country of the blind, our definitely crooked women never have the sense to realise that the answer lies in the strength of their position. It is they who form the skeleton of society; it is they who mould the plasticine men. If only they would set the limits. Men are like this because we do not have the sense to stand up for our own right to human dignity. We will no longer forgive all of men’s shortcomings with the words “aadmi hotay hi aisay hain.” Nor will we give up our God-given rights to inherit, earn, marry, divorce, raise our children how we please and basically live the life of a human being instead of a cow chewing the cud in the corner of a cold, damp, dark and constricted barn. Of course, this is a very tall order for a crooked rib. However, we have seen the performance of our plasticine men for a very, very, very long time and it is not encouraging. Plasticine may have its advantages but the strength to hold up a whole bodily structure is not one of them. Until then, we will create more and more Junaid Jamsheds who will commit inadvertent blasphemy by viewing the Prophet’s (PBUH) wife as (God forbid!) a woman and will draw a chorus of defenders insisting that he must be forgiven for this transgression because, after all, he is a maulvi with a big beard as opposed to being a beardless Christian/poor/female/Salmaan Taseer/human being. “Beta, aadmi hotay hi aisay hain.” (Concluded) The writer is a freelance columnist