I always wondered why they say you fall in love and realised it today. You have to fall a million times to be able to rise in love. Come wonder with me why that is so. When we speak about love, the visual that comes to everybody’s mind is of flowers, roses and two beautiful people holding hands feeling that powerful emotion, that tug that takes you off your feet and makes you fly to unimaginable heights. That’s what love makes you feel, but it’s when you tie the knot that the love story truly begins.
It’s hard work managing love. The nitty gritty mundane activities that we call our daily routine, such as being there for your loved one when they need you, managing your hours better, making it home in time. And no matter what your day has been like, putting that aside and giving your 100% to your partner. Then add a kid or two to this already simmering mixture, and it takes no time for it to boil over. On the other hand, the world just sitting there like a silent audience, waiting to give you a standing and resounding ovation as you trip over and fall, with a million beautiful views. To be sure, they especially saved it for this auspicious occasion, making you realise that you do “fall in love”.
But here I stop you short, love is love. It may bring you to your knees, crush you and your soul till you are ready to pull your proverbial hair. But, love is love. And here is where you have to do a great many things like killing your ego, your negativity and not look for advice in other quarters who only see one side of the picture. For some, throwing caution to the wind and walking out is the easiest and most simple solution. Just as Rehtt would say to Scarlett in Gone with the wind, ”Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn,” and walk away. Or on the other hand some would apply Scarlett’s response, “I will deal with it tomorrow, tomorrow is another day.” Whether deal with it tomorrow, or walk away, it all depends on how truly you love the one you made your promises to.
We make and break promises in love and anger as quickly as the first snowflakes hit the ground and melt. But with true love it’s the other way round. Because true love is for the long haul. It’s for all those barren, arid stretches that come in your life as though you haven’t loved at all and not just for the honeymoon period which is already sweetened by stirrings of tenderness that love has awakened in your heart. Love is the energy that keeps you striving to never let go.
At first, when two people fall in love, all they see in each other are their similarities. But after a while instead of celebrating their compatibility, they start focusing on their differences, and here is where they “fall in love”. Just like the dedicated ant falls again and again, it starts to climb as soon as it hits the ground, knowing the task may be uphill, but he has to keep climbing to reach the top. The human on the other hand, once fallen, can’t rise above himself. Because the pictures that are splayed in his mind are of a perfect existence, perfect sunsets and perfect sunrises. But perfect doesn’t exist. Perfection is what you create, by accepting each other’s fallibility and mortality. So now when someone tells you how they feel, you fall in love and say yes a million times, because you have to fall over and over again to rise in love.
The writer can be reached at @[email protected]
Published in Daily Times, January 9th 2017.