Even if you resist an investment advice from them, and even if they do their best to respect your wish, a suggestion to buy a plot or a file in the Defence Housing Authority (DHA) would still slip out of their lips like a piece of gold dropping from the jewelry box as its lid is being slammed shut. You may think that these self-appointed advisors are professional agents specialising in real estate, who with the depth of their knowledge are sharing their trade secrets with you. Not true. In fact, anyone of your thirteen year old knees, a childhood friend that you have not met for decades and who has moved to the UK, a professional banker, a retired army officer, a physician practising in the Middle East, your handyman, a plumber, or even a car mechanic can enlighten you with the safest strategy to make real money in a really short time. And once they offer you these two recommendations — second one being about purchasing a file in the Baharia Town — you can be rest assured that you are surrounded by good people, people who care, not the ones who are out there to get you. Not only that, the proposal to get super-rich-super-fast does not require a specialist or any professional acumen. The recipe is also not confined to a specific province of Pakistan, a city or a geographical location. People from Peshawar to Quetta, from Lahore to Multan to Karachi, all of them rely on the quality product of the DHA to ensure their financial well-being. What do I mean by a loose term like “financial well-being?” In simple terms, it means how a single purchase at the preliminary stage of the new project of DHA can bring an old man the eternal monetary comfort after retirement. Its profits can help him pay for the college education of his children, buy him a new Toyota Corolla Prius, or let him afford an extravagant wedding ceremony of his daughter. Purchasing two plots together is even better: you can sell one, and with the proceeds build a house on the other. How do the numbers work? Spend 100 today, and it will become five, seven or even a thousand, guaranteed, in just a few years. If you are born with a lucky star, the multiplication factor can be 15 or more. Can any stock market beat that? It is much safer as well with no downtrend whatsoever, no concerns of an economic crisis, no fear of slowing pace, no worries about inflation, deflation, leveraged buyouts, or chapter 11 bankruptcy. Because of that, it has a long track of solid performance and excellent quality of end product. For every financial dream, Pakistanis have a single solution: DHA. Had Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the father of the nation, were alive during Pakistan’s journey towards real estate progress in a time zone when we realised that we could convert a rural undeveloped land into a goldmine, more in value than the oil-producing fields of Dammam, Saudi Arabia, he would have amended his original advice to the nation to this: “Unity, Discipline and Faith only in DHA.” Had Allama Muhammad Iqbal seen the rise of the DHA, he might also have altered the meaning of a separate homeland to an independent, top-of-the-line housing society for the Muslims of the subcontinent. Maybe he was dreaming of the DHA when he thought of Pakistan, who knows? And had Fatima Jinnah known its potential, I am sure she would have never run an election campaign against Ayub Khan, and settled the issue on a 1000 yard corner commercial plot. Looking at it from another angle, it is not the constitution (since it is just a piece of paper), the ideology, the religion, the political parties or the cricket team that keeps us united as a nation. Instead it is the housing project, a real piece of land, and the prospect of making money through it that tethers us together. And the fun part is you do not have work hard for it, which by the way, our children learn real fast. They realise that they can drive a BMW, an Audi, a Mercedes Benz or a Range Rover without struggle, competition, innovation or craftsmanship, a fact that we can inculcate in our youth who are looking for a short cut. On a personal level too, living in the DHA comes with its perks. First, it is a status symbol, the attribute of our life that for all practical purposes takes precedence over our religiosity and patriotism. Then, it inculcates a sense of pride in you. Those who reside in it do not flaunt their family background, their professional success, or their contribution to society as much as they crow about the block they live in. And those who do not live in the DHA, when asked, try to evade the question by all means. It goes without saying that the have-nots, therefore, idealise it like the infatuation of a young boy who just fell for a girl four years older to him, and is already engaged to somebody else. The proud owners, unlike the infatuated young boy, behave like an adult who after going through the ups and downs of romantic affairs now know exactly what they want: prosperity through 10 more plots. So if you want to get rich, invest in DHA right now. Remember, time is not your friend. The writer is a US-based freelance columnist. He tweets at @KaamranHashmi and can be reached at skamranhashmi@gmail.com