‘ LAHORE: Punjab Chief Minister (CM) Shahbaz Sharif has said that he will no longer be talking about how he will make Lahore the new Paris, without mentioning how Lahore will first become the new Venice. “People have been making fun of me on social media and putting up all these posts about how Lahore is the new Paris but they don’t realise that they helped me with all their idiotic criticism. Lahore will first be the new Venice!” he said. The CM is planning on ensuring that every time the city flooded and battered due to torrential rains a team is ready to study where the water goes first, and where it stays the most. “What we will be doing is figuring out a way to see how we can take the water and build things around it. A Metro track that flows through beautiful watery scenery is the need of the hour,” the CM said. “The thing is we won’t be figuring out this climate change crap any time soon. So the best thing to do is to adjust our lives accordingly. That is the reason Lahore will not be Paris, but it can be Venice instead!” he said happily. The CM is also planning on trying to figure out the costs involved in bringing thousands of boats to replace people’s cars with. “Many of our kids already know how to swim in the canal, they’ve had practice. And climate change has ensured that we get so much water that we can’t handle it… it’ll be great,” he said. This satire originally appeared in Khabaristan Times and has been reproduced with permission Web desk