The recent media report about a young woman committing suicide allegedly following blackmail by a man and his friends is another awful manifestation of how social media in Pakistan is exploited for subjugation of women. Fears of private information becoming public; reaction of family members, in particular that of male members; and the shame and societal pressure in varying degrees shape a system in which women end up being bracketed a victim or a survivor.
Conditioning of girls and women to adapt to a system of values that stems from patriarchal definitions of right and wrong is the norm. Any deviations from it are dealt with in ways that range from verbal reprimands and harassment to physical violence and murder. In a society with a great deal of emphasis on appearances, social media promotes a culture of shame and silence and has a role in cultivation of dangerously negative attitudes.
The potential anonymity of social media emboldens some users to be their real selves in the disgusting sense of acknowledging no rules and boundaries. A single click can make a personal photograph visible on myriad screens and endanger a life. In a world governed by the Internet, where fake news has the power to make or break governments, there is no limit to what an average person can do to destroy somebody. Personal information shared with a friend end up being used for blackmail; photos shown to those close to one are used as a tool of revenge; a little editing turns an innocent photograph into a pornographic image.
Social media has the power to do a great deal of good. It also has the power to do an unimaginable amount of harm.
There are laws and guidelines for cyber safety. Caution is advised for all who use social media and yet terrible things continue to happen. Targeted harassment, abusive trolling, character assassination and spreading of rumours – there is nothing that social media is not used for in dark and ominous ways. Constant personal vigilance and reporting of all unsavoury online behaviour can deter some of the predators but the malaise is hard to eliminate.
Beyond the laws, measures taken by some digital rights companies and safety parameters of social media platforms, there is a need for a long-term cleansing of the system by altering societal attitudes. What needs to change is the way women are treated, how they are labelled and the boxes in which they are forced to fit. What needs to end is misogyny. What needs to be understood is that a woman’s body and character are not the property of male members of her family.
It all starts at home. It all starts with how boys are raised. Societies change when mothers become the guiding force. *