Dear Mathira & Rose,
My daughter is three years old and gets really rude with my maid. It got unbearable today when she hit the maid because according to my daughter, the maid was not listening to her, but I know that my maid is quite sensible and loving and that’s something my daughter takes advantage of. I’m so upset. It’s getting on my nerves. She is too spoilt at home but it shouldn’t be at the expense of her manners. She has been on antibiotics throughout this winter and has become loud and violent. She’s the only child at home in the company of me, my husband, my husband’s parents and his sister. Kindly give me some good suggestions in a positive way so I can help my toddler be a better human.
Rose’s advice:
Even though your daughter is three, but even then, her hitting the maid isn’t right. I think you should control what she’s watching on the television. Sometimes, children are psychologically influenced by what they see in films or TV programmes. Sometimes, kids also pick up what they see happening around them. Since she’s a toddler, involve her in activities that require physical and mental exercises like paintings, music or even swimming, since it’s summer. What normally happens is that when kids go swimming, they come home really tired and immediately fall asleep. I also think the antibiotics have resulted in her irritable moods as they cause sleep deprivation. Antibiotics are strong medications. Even then, I don’t think that gives her the licence to hit or to misbehave with a maid. This could lead to problems for you in future as she might become one of those spoilt, rotten kids. You need to ensure that you’re in-charge whenever you’re around her. Give her timeouts and she needs to realise that she’s done something wrong. If you won’t control her at this age that she’s in, she could end up hitting you in future as well. Control her YouTube as there are some cartoons which are pretty violent. Put her in playgroups that give guitar lessons and dancing lessons etc so she interacts with other kids and her mind starts accepting such activities and deviates from acts of violence. You’ve got to show her you’re the Mama and that she’s not allowed to snap at people.
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Mathira’s advice:
Since she’s a kid, she might have aggression issues but it’s really rude. She’s going to learn slowly. Sometimes, kids are a little violent but you need to keep an eye on the maid. Sometimes, mothers ignore the fact that even the maid can be harbouring some grudges in her heart. Take it slowly. Why don’t you take her out in the park and indulge her in activities like running around so that her energy comes out? Maybe she’s upset and is facing some issues. Maybe you’re not giving her enough time so why don’t you babysit her more? Instead of the maid, you be with her.
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