What was your new year’s resolution like? Are you still on it? If it was about losing weight, forget it; those pacts last only a week before one gets tempted by a plate or biryani or nihari. Some people also like to begin anew on January first, taking it as the first blank page of a new book, wanting to write very neatly on it; then the hand gets tired, and the writing becomes sloppier prompting them to get back to their old selves. So often we have resolved to fix our bad habits from tomorrow but that tomorrow never comes. It is almost like the term inshallah, well-abused in our society for everything one plans on not accomplishing.
The tailor utters an ‘inshallah baji your joda(suit) would be ready before Eid’ and you know he hasn’teven looked at the bag of unstitched fabric you handed to him. Inshallah is the easy way out here; parents use it often to promise things to their children they intend not on buying. Politicians have been ‘inshallah-ing’ the end of load-shedding since 1986 and their pledge still works with the gullible public. How about our cricket team and their promise of winning the world cup? Inshallah, some day, one day.
Perhaps new year’s resolutions are meant to be broken; they are trendy, emotionally driven and mostly focus on mending or eliminating something from life rather than expanding one’s outlook. We cannot keep starting over and over again forgetting the past, but we can build upon a present utilising what is to be learned from the past.
Maybe a different way to start the year would be to forgive oneself, stop being so hard on yourself, and vouch to do whatever you can do to the best of your ability. It may sound dull at the moment, given that everyone and everything now just pushes us to maximise our limits. The fitness trainer wants you to pick up more weights than your comfort level; the nutritionists are advising on every magazine cover to go vegan ditching all kinds of fat. That one neighbour of yours just bought a new car, and yours is still a little old, so the competition is killing you silently. You know the drill; no one is asking you to slow down — you just cannot afford to. That is precisely why you should because running around like a headless chicken serves no purpose.
In an ideal world, you would have been ten kilogrammes lighter by yesterday or last January, and there should have been many more zeros in your paycheck but that salary vanishes by the 10th of each month. Guess what, it is all okay, let it all go. Do small things with great love, attention and someday getting there will be easier.
A good aspect to focus on this year would be silence, we are always surrounded by a lot of noise and have nearly forgotten the soothing and healing power of remaining quiet in the midst of a storm. On our TV screens as well there are countlessshouting matches, where everyone wishes to outsmart each other, they are no listeners.
An ideal practice would be to allow some time daily to mute the mind that is trying to tell you a thousand different stories and just observe the wonders around — even if you do it for ten minutes a day. Once you have reconnected with your inner self, all other ambitions become clearer and easily achievable.
The female shopaholics of Pakistan should try and practice self-control and repeat their lawn jodas more often than they would like to. In a role reversal, the ladies who never buy expensive clothing(always thinking of their budget) should just go out there and splurge on themselves.
Another aspect everyone can work on daily is to speak the truth more often and avoid unnecessarily lying. No more fibbing, no more exaggerating, just living simply and honestly should be our motto.
Also, reach out to minorities living next to you this year and celebrate your life’s events with them. Every Pakistani need to become more inclusive as a citizen, making sure they are hurting no one with their beliefs and practices. Let’s opt to fix these social potholes and the roads will be taken care of automatically.
The fact is one never needs to wait until the beginning of the year or their birthday to start something positive. One can start any day and anytime as long as there is a resolve to bring about change.
The writer is a freelance columnist with a degree in Cultural Studies and a passion for social observation, especially all things South Asian. She tweets @chainacoffeemug