My wife, daughters and I are discussing the evening entertainment at a Haven holiday park in Pwllheli, North Wales, where we’ll be staying for the week. Called Hafan y Mor, it’s a sprawling family-friendly site in the shadow of Snowdonia National Park. As a security man waves our car through the entrance gate, I tell the kids that according to legend, a fierce giant once lived on the slopes of Snowdon, Wales’s highest mountain, and that he used to kill kings, shave off their beards and weave the hair into a cloak he wore. This attempt to kickstart a discussion on local folklore falls flat, as they reply, “Can we go swimming today? Please!” At reception, the smiliest woman I have ever seen hands us a map and keys and we head off to our accommodation: a luxury lodge in the £1 million Fairways development, unveiled last May. En route, we pass parents with the occasional dog trailing behind their eager charges – several on bikes, scooters, go-karts and even ‘junior’ Segways, which are all available for hire. Some are heading to the sportsdrome and soft play area; others, to the pedalos and bungee-jump trampolines. We also catch a tantalising glimpse of the aerial treetop assault course, where hard-hatted souls, young and old, climb steps to a sky-high walkway and zip wire across a lake into a canopy of leaves. There are various dwellings at Haven, ranging from caravans and apartments to pine lodges with soaring triangular sides – great for pointing out a living example of isosceles to maths-inclined nippers. We are staying in a three-bed caravan lodge with surround decking, which is built around a man-made lake near the seaside and a golf course. As we step inside our faux-timber lodge, the kids run down the narrow hallway to ‘baggsy’ their beds. The wife and I gawp at the fully fitted kitchen and living room, with two plush sofas and a big flat-screen TV – and there’s even carpet and curtains. Cardigan Bay, and the Irish Sea, is a five-minute stroll away. Here, a band of pebbles ripe for skimming gives way to a secluded sandy coastline, where you can jump waves, have a dip or hunt for hermit crabs among the rock pools. Coastal walks along the cliffs command majestic views over the bay – majestic apart from two sets of abandoned underwear we notice in the grass. Holiday food is always a thrill for kids. Ours get a mixture of ‘mum cooking’ plus the occasional special outing. For self-catering, there are two well-stocked but slightly overpriced mini-marts on site – and we soon find the Asda, a 10-minute drive away. There’s also a Burger King, Starbucks and Papa John’s at Haven if you can’t resist a bit of High Street nosh. Other on-site options include a fish and chip shop or the Cockney-sounding bar and restaurant Mash & Barrel. If you’re going on a Haven holiday, it’s best to buy ‘activity bundles’ in advance, as a) it can work out cheaper than paying once you’ve arrived; and b) some activities have to be booked, otherwise they may not be available on the day you want, especially in peak season. We reserve the treetop aerial adventure – a mixture of zipwire and rope-bridge challenges – but there is a height restriction; our youngest was gutted she was too short. Her sisters, and my wife, do have a go, whizzing in a harness 40ft off the ground above a lake containing terrifying beasts Some zipwirers fail to ‘land’ at the pole station at the other end and sit dangling in the air. It takes anything from 10 minutes to an hour to finish the course – and one of my daughters does get stuck. After a brief panic, she does as shown in pre-zip training and pulls herself along to the landing station. Meanwhile, for budding Bear Gryllses, there is Nature Rockz. What sounds like an earthy album by 70s’ glamrockers Slade is in fact a lesson in outdoor skills. The sessions give children the chance to study bushcraft and get close to wildlife: from learning how to start a fire to identifying an animal from its tracks. As for the Splashaway pool complex, our daughters love it; the water’s warm, the queues move fast and the wave machine is a blast. The bungee-trampolining is great fun, too. The staff start you off gently and if you’re willing, they’ll bounce you very, very high. Meanwhile, beyond Haven lies a world rich in history and scenery to explore. A 20min drive away, we visit the ‘Italian’ village of Portmeirion – aka the setting for cult 1960s’ TV show The Prisoner. I try to explain the programme’s concept of Man’s captivity to the little ones, but quickly give up and suggest they just stand on the giant chessboard in the heart of the village and have some ice cream instead. We also visit Beddgelert, a quaint little community surrounded by the gorgeous peaks of Snowdonia. It’s also a short drive away – via the sort of narrow country lane that car insurance policies are made for. It’s big on eateries – not so big on pavements, so keep your kids close. It was also home to Alfred Bestall, who illustrated Rupert the Bear stories. The high point of our day trips is, technically, the lowest point: 500ft underground. In a slate mine. Our tour of the Llechwedd Slate Caverns proves to be a powerful – and emotional – experience, led by a man named Rich, whose ancestors, stretching back six generations, worked these very mines. He tells us of how, in 19th century British mining communities, children as young as 12 would assist men as they searched for slate in candlelit darkness, in temperatures averaging 5C. On the journey back to Haven, they view the slate roof tiles on the houses we pass in a new light. Back at camp, we look through the programme of night activities: from karaoke and bingo, to family disco and games show night. And, of course, that Michael Jackson theatre performance. The male and female, performers do a good job and play to a packed house on the evening we attend. Published in Daily Times, February 2nd 2019.