It would not be an exaggeration to say that the knowledge of the English language is the passport to the modern world. I was really pleased to read Shakil Chaudhary’s Handbook of Functional English, an exceptionally well-crafted and skillfully structured contribution on the subject. No run-of-the-mill English-teaching guide, it has a great deal of thought-provoking stuff that is scrupulously avoided in Pakistani educational institutions. It has chapters or sub-chapters on subjects such as diplomacy, education, history, human rights, international relations, law, literature, media, politics, religion and travel. To the best of my knowledge, no better book on this subject has been written in South Asia. Chudhary studied international relations at the Quaid-e-Azam University, Islamabad, and media at the London School of Economics. He has worked as a copy editor for three English language newspapers. He does not elaborate intricate rules of grammar and syntax, assuming that the learners are familiar with the basic structure of the language but need to improve their functional skills in English. From a pedagogical point of view, this has been an intelligent and effective decision because for a book to be useful it is crucial that the author knows the target audience and pitches his work at a corresponding level. The book has translations from English into Urdu and vice versa. This means capturing the correct idiom as well, since all languages have their peculiar ways of expressing or describing situations or things. The author does this very competently. He has not blindly followed earlier lexicographers. For example, almost all lexicographers have translated takya kalaam as ‘expletive’, Chaudhry has opted for ‘pet phrase’. Similarly, he has translated wada moaaf gawah as ‘state’s witness’, and not as ‘approver”’. He is of the opinion that bhindi should be called ‘okra’, and not ‘lady’s finger’. And ‘suo motu action’ should be described as ‘sua sponte action’. I found the pictures of objects and things with their English and Urdu names presented in the book also very helpful as the visual impact is always far easier to register and remember. He also lists a number of proverbs and sayings with Urdu translations. Another useful feature is listing of British words and terms and their American equivalents. Perhaps something that writers and journalists would particularly thank Chaudhary for is the inclusion of sections on writing and editing tips, vocabulary, pronunciation, the definite and indefinite articles, useful adjectives, when a hyphen is needed and when it is not, and many other such useful guidelines. For example, Chaudhary maintains that ‘denter’ is not the right expression for auto-body mechanic. The book tells us that proclaimed offender (fugitive), stage secretary (emcee) and wall-chalking (graffiti) are not English phrases. And several is not synonymous with many. Several means ‘more than two but not many’. I was particularly thrilled to go through Chaudhary’s review of Pakistani, Indian and other related newspapers’ usage of English. The author has collected an impressive array of errors made by newspapers, including some prestigious ones. I selected the following examples: “The Times of India is the most popular English Newspaper in the world”: correct would be: “The Times of India is the most popular English-language newspaper in the world” (an English newspaper is one published in England). Another: “Rs 242 million bungling detected”, would correctly be “Rs 242 million peculation detected”. Another “He did his masters in Applied Psychology”, and correct, “He did his master’s in applied psychology”. This one particularly needs attention: “There is no god but God”, and correct would be “There is no deity but God”. And this one, too, “There are many pickets and speed breakers on this road” while the correct way of saying it would be, “There are many roadblocks and speed bumps on this road.” The book is a great bonus in many other ways too. It derives its material from a wide range of current affairs and the author dares to demolish some popular myths and conspiracy theories and seeks to set the record straight with solid evidence. For example, he shows that it is factually incorrect to say that there are 57 Islamic countries in the world. In at least 10 of the OIC member countries Muslims do not make up the majority of population. These countries are Benin, Cameroon, Gabon, Guinea-Bissau, Guyana, Ivory Coast, Mozambique, Suriname, Togo and Uganda. Interestingly, Guyana and Suriname have more Hindus than Muslims. Most Pakistani columnists regularly rely on a patently fake quote from The Jewish Chronicle, purportedly of August 9, 1967, to prove Israel’s unremitting hostility to Pakistan. He also exposes the hollowness of 9/11 conspiracy theories, one of which makes the fantastic claim that 4,000 Jews had been warned to stay away from the Twin Towers because Israel had planned that greatest carnage on American soil since the Civil War. In Stockholm a retired professor of mathematics with a PhD from Germany and I were about to come to blows as he insisted that 9/11 happened on the first day of the Jewish New Year. When I provided him evidence to the contrary, he severed ties with me. So pernicious is the power of conspiracy theories. Even though the author has painstakingly gathered examples from the English language media in our region, especially Pakistan, he cannot possibly anticipate all future constructions. For example, during the recent Pakistani election I found ‘neck to neck’ being used as a standard phrase by editors and columnists to indicate a very close contest between candidates. The correct expression is “neck and neck”, and is derived from horseracing. Can neck to neck gain currency as a part of Pakistani English without Dr Johnson protesting from his grave? I would not know, but perhaps Chaudhary will set the record straight in the next edition of the book. The reviewer is a PhD (Stockholm University); Professor Emeritus of Political Science, Stockholm University; and Honorary Senior Fellow, Institute of South Asian Studies, National University of Singapore. Latest publications: Pakistan: The Garrison State, Origins, Evolution, Consequences (1947-2011), Karachi: Oxford Unversity Press, 2013; The Punjab Bloodied, Partitioned and Cleansed: Unravelling the 1947 Tragedy through Secret British Reports and First-Person Accounts (Karachi: Oxford University Press, 2012; New Delhi: Rupa Books, 2011). He can be reached at billumian@gmail.com