Even if I pull out all the stops, I cannot make myself listen to the complete telephonic addresses of Altaf Hussain, I just cannot, the same way I cannot stomach a lecture on advanced quantum mechanics or digest talk about the biochemical structure of the cell wall of algae. The only possible exception is if I am reassured that it is a one-time only deal and will not happen again. In that case, I see a clear light at the end of the tunnel and can begin the countdown as his voice reaches me from the microphone. However, the leader of the MQM, unfortunately, picks up the telephone almost twice a week — if not more — and starts rambling about whatever comes to his mind. And man, he does not stop for hours; it is as if he has fallen in love with his own voice. If the CIA had known about this as a technique to make people’s lives miserable, the formidable spy agency might have used it instead of water boarding to extract the truth out of terrorist suspects! Not only that, his speeches are incomprehensible because of his low pitched, growling voice, his slow delivery of words, his long pauses in the middle of sentences and his not-so-melodious tone; I also find their content to be boring, tangential and out of touch with the ground realities, a sad truth that needs to be shared with him. Sometimes it seems as if he speaks under the influence of drugs — medicinal or recreational, I am not sure — even though people tend to talk about it a lot. What I am sure is that I do not want to make a legal or moral judgment as the focus of my discussion. As far as the people (victims of his oratory skills) who attend these rallies are concerned, I acknowledge their patience. If it were up to me I would have nominated them for the presidential pride of performance award. They sit still like pieces of furniture, lifeless and static, and listen to his address as if they were getting advice from an expert Wall Street broker, which will help them multiply their profits in the stock market! Looking at their silence, Imran Khan, the rude chairman of the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI), known for his abusive language, calls them live corpses (zinda laash). I do not agree with his description. I find it insulting because such derogatory names can be conjured up for his supporters as well. Instead, I call them men with nerves of steel since, no matter how bizarre the speech is, MQM workers take it in. My personal limit ends after five minutes. By then, I get so dizzy that I need to lie down in a peaceful quiet room for a few hours to return to normal.Just like those television commercials that are short, striking and quite unrelated to one another, Altaf Hussain hops from one topic to another in quick succession while talking to himself/people. At one time, he would invite the Generals to take over charge of the country and, at other times, he would start singing an Indian song. Then he would recite a verse from the Quran, holding a copy of the scripture fanned out over his head, followed by a threat to the PTI. Then he resigns from politics and a few hours after that he reinstates himself. In short, he is all over the place without realising how embarrassing it is for the party and its supporters.Despite the absurdity, it seems that the Inter-Services Public Relations (ISPR) listens to his speeches with interest, takes them seriously and then reacts to them as well, knowing fully well the political leader will apologise and recant as soon as the following morning (when he regains consciousness). So, just a few days ago, Altaf Hussain, during one of his weekly rituals, challenged the Pakistan army’s interference in politics and questioned their decision of surrendering in the war of 1971. He even implied that his party would want to work for the Indian spy agency. Of course, this was rude and unnecessary. After being in politics for three decades, he must know the lines that can never be crossed no matter how strong his emotions run on the subject. No sooner had I heard his prattle, I thought: “Oh man, he is in big trouble.”“Altaf Hussain’s speech on television containing remarks about the army and its leadership was uncalled for and disgusting,” said the Director General of ISPR, General Asim Bajwa, in a tweet. “Such reference to the army or its leadership as a reaction to arrests of criminals, who may have links with any political party, won’t be tolerated,” he reprimanded the politician. “Irresponsible remarks and using the media to incite the people of Pakistan to rise against the state; the matter will be pursued legally.” Following that, what would have happened except an apology? So it did. Altaf Hussain expressed his regret over the incident and offered an alternative explanation by saying his words were taken out of context (as usual).By far it looked like the matter would end there without involving the courts although the media will face the brunt: more censorship on issues that are taboo for discussion. However, I do not think the matter should end here. First, I believe the military should have ignored his speech as being ridiculous. If that is not enough, and if the army felt its case regarding “incitement against the state” held any ground in a court of law, it should pursue the legal course of action. Civil society and politicians, including the MQM, on the other hand, should get the opportunity to defend their position on freedom of expression. The writer is a US-based freelance columnist. He tweets at @KaamranHashmi and can be reached at skamranhashmi@gmail.com