I try not to get emotional about my country and the institution I served for most of my life. Despite my best efforts, occasionally, I do. Maybe this is one such occasion. I have been publicly and repeatedly stating that the PML-N and Nawaz Sharif “do the least damage to my country”. Now my friends wish me to eat my words and I may have to. Abdul Qayyum Kundi of PTI is in touch with me and does me the honour of sharing his views. He drew my attention to the fact that the PML-N government is earmarking Rs 252 billion for ‘development’ in the coming budget, to help them win again. For once, neither the PPP nor the PTI has said a word. Nary a peep out of them. Do you know why? They plan to ensure their provincial victories by similar means. Yes indeed, Zardari and coterie are more corrupt than any other. Are the Sharifs far behind? Indeed Imran has not been tried. Those, like me, who judge him, know he was the most trustworthy as long as he was looking after SKMH. But now, I wouldn’t trust him with a penny. And I would never have trusted him with my country. So, where do we go? What do we do? I am not making a case for a military takeover. I am amongst those handfuls of soldiers who refused to say “yes” to Gen Ziaul Haq’s referendum, despite knowing the cost and survived. No one is better aware than me of how the military failed each time it took to rule in Pakistan. But, there was Mustafa Kamal in Turkey, George Washington in the US, Napoleon, Alexander, Caesar, and many others also come to mind, who did better. But, another thing happened recently. Ms Asma Jahangir apparently referred to us soldiers as “duffers”. This hurt some retired friends. That has become fashionable in Pakistan. Journalists establish their credibility by castigating the army. And they all feel very proud of having done so. Castigating the Army has become fashionable in Pakistan. Journalists establish credibility through it and feel very proud for having done so Are soldiers the only real aliens in Pakistan? Do we shed tears for the pains of our siblings for nothing? Every time an Aitzaz Hassan — not Ahsan — dies, we shed tears of blood. Are these also wasted? Asma is quite capable of saying something to that effect. Indeed, we soldiers are duffers. We have to be. Who but a duffer would lay down his life for his country? My children are dying on the LOC. They die inland daily. All sons of mine. I buried a uniformed son. Shame on me. He did not die in battle. Most of them are in khaki, but they are in blue, grey, white, and camouflaged too. Many are in civvies. But, they are all soldiers, irrespective of rank. They die willingly for their country and its citizens. They die for me, for you, for us. They die, or survive as vegetables, losing arms or legs. Yes. They are all duffers. I am guilty of having held Ms Jahangir in great respect. She used to be the champion of disempowered women. Unfortunately, people change. Ms Jahangir has joined an elite group that of Fazlur Rahman and Munawwar Hassan; two so-called Maulanas. Munawwar stated that our soldiers didn’t deserve a Muslim burial. Rahman, on the other hand, that even a dog killed by Americans was Shaheed! My God! Are these people we listen and give credence to? Shame on us! Ms Jahangir did better. She has worshipped the RSS in India. 25 years ago, I was commanding the Kel Brigade. We were visited by floods. One squadron of my Animal Transport (AT) soldiers and mules got trapped and while some were swept away, others climbed trees to survive. In the army, these AT fellows are unimportant but they too are soldiers and my children. I desperately needed a helicopter to rescue them. My General said over the phone, “Partner, aap ke liye dua kur sukte hein”. I said, “Sir, ap dua karen; mein duva kurta hon”. I managed a helicopter and rescued 34 soldiers. 33 died. I narrate this, neither for sympathy, nor respect. This is typical of two kinds of soldiers. One reconciled, the other determined to try. The vast bulk of Pakistani soldiers fall into the latter category. And all are better than me. But, there are also soldiers like my General. Perhaps Asma would consider him among the more gifted soldiers. Now what? CPEC is offering a unique opportunity. I have yet to voice my personal reservations about it but they will come. The US has chosen sides. We are not on its side. China and Russia are siding with us, but if we don’t take care, China will have bought our soul for another fifty years. Last time we volunteered it to the US for fifty years. Saudis, the original supporters of Israel, have managed to buy back the goodwill and reverse the US policy in their favour. They can purchase it. We can’t. And, we have to live here. We don’t want Iran’s enmity but Saudis have thrust it upon us. Our eastern borders were born unsafe. We don’t need our western borders to be troubled too. And our political leaders; with their cohorts in all departments are looting the country. But we are duffers. We don’t deserve a Muslim burial. We are soldiers. We are nothing. Rugon mein dorne phirne ke hum nahin kayil; Jo ankh se he na tupka to phir luhoo kiya hei. — Ghalib Yes, I am in pain. The writer is a retired brigadier. He is also former vice president and founder of the Islamabad Policy Research Institute (IPRI)