Let’s talk about an important aspect of human behaviour that can be regarded as a social dilemma nowadays. There have been many times when I have asked multiple people for important questions regarding homework assignments, and course outlines, but the only answers that I got were “I am a little busy and will get back to you soon” or, “Okay- wait! I will send them to you in an hour”. However, they never actually followed through.
Me, on the other hand, I have a habit of responding to people as quickly as I can, even if I have to go against my schedule, or out of my comfort zone. I would interrupt a party or a movie night to send a few pictures of my notes to people who don’t even talk to me on campus.
See, if somebody asks you for something, you would expect that they probably need it right away. Many people make you wait for minutes, which turn into hours and ultimately to “I am sorry that I forgot to get back to you.” This is very wrong. One should try to respond to people in time and if they cannot, they must learn to be patient when asking for a favor. When it comes to us, we become impatient, wanting instant responses. Life doesn’t work this way; if you want to earn without paying, you will ultimately lose everything when bankruptcy will hit you hard!
I have worked on this habit of mine because what I believe is that it is making people become more impatient with me. They think that I am available for them 24/7, while they can reject my requests without thinking twice. Finally, I came to the conclusion that there is a line between helping others and getting used to them. I never understood this before, but it is true that we all learn from our experiences.
I know of many girls who rant about being used by their friends, and that the world is selfish and cold with them. However, no amount of ranting or complaining is going to get them through this. We all have functioning brains built inside our heads that remind us to eat and drink, breathe and sleep. If such is the case, then what is wrong with understanding the concept of not being the scape-goat? Why don’t people understand that nobody is going to stand up for them except their own self?
Girls and boys- stop letting people use you for their own purpose, stop being the scape-goat, and learn to say no! This is not wrong, neither is it mean in any way. If you think you can possibly never say no, you are playing with your self-respect, public image, and inner character.
I’ve seen people who complain that they can’t say no to people, fighting like animals when it came to their public image. I realized that such people are only putting up a show to stir up drama in their own lives as well as those around them. They need attention and the spotlight to be focused on them every time. While being honest, they are an explicit threat to all of us and we should try to keep such people at a distance. Sometimes, it’s better to let go for the good, than to stick for the destruction.
No person is entirely ‘bad’- it’s just that some people are not meant to be a part of our lives. Some people have an aura that can absorb all the light inside you. They have a different mindset than yours. Keeping up with such people or trying to make things work out will only make things worse.