Dear Mathira & Rose, I am 26 years old. I was seeing this guy for two years and we were deeply in love. Later, I started working for a demanding firm and he often used to get possessive because I was reporting to so many guys and was always busy. Things didn’t work out and I dumped him. A week later, I realised I was wrong and I should’ve given him time alongside my job. I called him and we patched up. As happy as I was, my world was crushed when he told me that soon after I had broken up with him, he got wasted one night and slept with a girl in a one-night stand. He apologised but do you think I should forgive him? Rose’s advice: You know relationships are never smooth. They come with their hurdles so it doesn’t mean that you only stick by your partner when everything’s nice, rather you need to stick by him/her when the relationship appears to be on the rocks. When the rough patch appears, you need to find a solution for it rather than breaking up. You seem to have done the same thing by dumping him. Had you worked on the issues like talking to him, he wouldn’t have gotten jealous or insecure. Being dumped by your partner means that you’ve been rejected. It’s like being hit below the belt. The person who has dumped someone moves on faster as they were the ones who decided to end the relationship. Whereas the person who got dumped suffers as they weren’t expecting it or weren’t ready for it. Their life is affected and they become rebellious like resorting to drugs, alcohol and lots of negativity. Mathira’s advice: Yes, you should forgive him because first of all, he didn’t sleep with someone during the relationship. When you dumped him, that’s when he got wasted and slept with someone. I should tell people that when your relationship is off and your ex-partner does something out of misery and later actually confesses to what he did, asking for forgiveness, please don’t be mean and say, “Oh, you cheated on me!” That’s not cheating. If they mess up and then come back to you, forgive him and give him a hug. Appreciate his honesty. I know people who do mess up like this but don’t come clean. Accept him and give him time as any guy would get insecure. These days, it’s better to keep the guy insecure otherwise they take you for granted. Don’t be hurt and don’t bring this up again with him. If you want advice on any issue, email us your questions at sisterlyadvice@dailytimes.com.pk