After a lull of several months, US-Pak relations are gradually warming up. Back to back events starting from American President Donald Trump’s aggressive tone on Pakistan during his policy speech on South Asia in August and his recent appreciation of Islamabad’s efforts to recover US-Canadian couple along with their three children from terrorist custody in Kohat prove how fragile and inconsistent are relations between the two closet allies of the past. Addressing the Values Summit held in Washington the other day, the US President Donald Trump said that, “I have openly said Pakistan took tremendous advantage of our country for many years, but we’re starting to have a real relationship with Pakistan, and they’re to respect us as a nation again, and so are other nations. They are starting to respect the United States of America.” What is meant by Trump’s contention about “real relationship with Pakistan”? Why the United States frequently uses a policy of carrot and stick vis-à-vis Pakistan? What are policy options for Pakistan in terms of formulating a revitalised relationship with the US? A real relationship needs to be reciprocal and based on an equal footing and must not be a hostage of mistrust, suspicion and ill-will. The need of respect which President Trump has referred in his Values Summit speech must be mutual in the sense that it cannot be just Pakistan respecting the United States as a nation, it is also imperative on the part of Washington to be respectful and honor self-esteem of Pakistani nation. Unfortunately, the loss of respect has been a fundamental reality in Pak-US relations as various Pakistani regimes have complained of unfairness and disrespectfulness on the part of the United States while dealing with Pakistan. By suspecting the intentions of Pakistan of not doing enough to eradicate what it calls terrorist network inside Pakistan targeting the US and Afghan forces in Afghanistan tends to further deepen the cleavage between the two countries. We must not escape from the reality that the behaviour of the US and other major international actors vis-à-vis Pakistan has much to do with our failure to eradicate extremism In his policy speech on South Asia in which he focused on Afghanistan, President Trump was highly disrespectful to Pakistan when he said, “We can no longer be silent about Pakistan’s safe havens for terrorist organisations, the Taliban, and other groups that pose a threat to the region and beyond. Pakistan has much to gain from partnering with our effort in Afghanistan. It has much to lose by continuing to harbor criminals and terrorists”. While he tried to balance his assertions against Pakistan by saying that, “in the past, Pakistan has been a valued partner. Our militaries have worked together against common enemies. The Pakistani people have suffered greatly from terrorism and extremism. We recognise those contributions and those sacrifices” but in the next line of his speech he lambasted Pakistan when he said that, “but Pakistan has also sheltered the same organisations that try every single day to kill our people. We have been paying Pakistan billions and billions of dollars at the same time they are housing the very terrorists that we are fighting. But that will have to change, and that will change immediately. No partnership can survive a country’s harboring of militants and terrorists who target US service members and officials. It is time for Pakistan to demonstrate its commitment to civilisation, order, and to peace”. What else was left with when President Trump exposed his venom and bitterness against Pakistan? A real relationship cannot be built on threats and coercion particularly when there is a history of Pakistan suffering most as a result of violence and terrorism since 9/11. When a relationship is purely selfish, opportunistic and devoid of mutual respect, it cannot be real. The US policy of carrot and stick vis-à-vis countries which are asymmetrical in relationship is a reality. To a large extent, every world power pursues a policy of intimidation but when it comes to bullying a country which for several decades all the way since early 1950s till 9/11 remained a steadfast ally, it cannot be acceptable to a nation having even minimum degree of self-esteem. Since the days of President George W Bush and more particularly during Obama administration, American demands made to Pakistan that it should “do more” in its war on terror meant that the US took Pakistan for granted as a client or a rental state. There was a time in 1990s when Pakistan was the most sanctioned ally of the US because nuclear and democracy related sanctions were imposed. Realistically speaking, Pakistan’s breaking point while experiencing periodic American threats, coercion and intimidation occurred when recently its Prime Minister had to categorically state that his country is not dependent on American military and economic support and it has diversified its options by seeking meaningful cooperation with Russia, China and the European Union. And, in the recent past and the present, there have been more sticks than carrots on the part of the United States in its relations with Pakistan. As far as Pakistan’s options while dealing with American policy of carrot and stick are concerned these must be based on the ground realities. While walking on a tight rope with its economy in bad shape and also facing isolation to a large extent, there must not be escape from the reality that the behavior of the US in particular and other major actors of international community vis-à-vis Pakistan has much to do with its failure to eradicate extremism, radicalisation, militancy, violence and terrorism along with its debacles in the areas of economy, governance, rule of law and justice system. With its growing foreign and domestic debt; more than 35 percent of its people living below poverty line; poor educational system with 25 million children out school; poor quality of life of the overwhelming majority of people; rampant corruption and nepotism; how can Pakistan expect to have a positive image at the international level. When some of the banned and unbanned religious groups are involved in preaching hate against religious minorities and advocate the use of violence, how can the country expect to earn respect from the world? If the US has been disrespectful and unfair to Pakistan on some accounts, there is a reason to such a stance. Policy options for Pakistan, while walking on a tight rope are getting limited day by day as the country is unable to put its house in order. Yet there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and one needs to be resilient and optimistic as the only viable option which can be thought about and implemented by those who are at the helm of affairs relates to eradicating things which have led to bad governance, absence of the rule of law, serious economic crisis and low quality of life of people including poor educational and health standards. Although high level meetings between US and Pakistani officials are helpful in formulating a ‘real relationship’ and mending fences, yet such an uphill task cannot be accomplished unless there is political will, determination, mutual trust, confidence and respect on both sides The writer is Meritorious Professor of International Relations at the University of Karachi. E. Mail: amoonis@hotmail.com Published in Daily Times, October 19th 2017.