Allegations have surfaced: Mohsin Abbas Haider apparently viciously beat his pregnant wife last year. Images of his alleged violence were shared by his wife, Fatima Sohail, in a social media post entitled ‘Zulim Bardast kerna bhi Gunah hai’, literally ‘To Tolerate Abuse is also Haraam’. In the post, Sohail mentions that the abuse began when she, after finding out that her husband was having an affair, confronted him with her suspicions. Disregarding the fact that she was pregnant with his child, he allegedly launched in to an attack. Fatima Sohail revealed that she had been dragged, kicked and punched by her husband – while she was pregnant. And if the photos and her post are anything to go by – he didn’t hold back. Actors Mirza Gohar Rasheed and Dua Malik have both posted online supporting Fatima’s allegations. Malik posted on her personal social media: “I have seen him beating the shit out of his wife on the road and where not”.
I’ve felt for a long time now that when women survive abuse, they’re vilified. People don’t like it when we live to tell the tale. They’d much rather mourn our passing than support us being victims. Where does a survivor dare turn when faced with such odds? And yet people on twitter are demanding that we let family matters remain private. This reminds me of the backlash back in 2012, when we passed the Domestic Violence (Prevention and Protection) Act. It was unanimously voted in, however many members of the public were unhappy with it. They felt that it was unnecessary oversight. That we should let family matters remain private… familial. As much as I dislike the concept of Governments invading citizens’ personal space, I think that violence of any sort needs to be part and parcel of the legal system. One cannot commit murder in one’s home, for instance. One cannot commit any crime anywhere. Domestic violence is a crime, the definition as to what constitutes a crime, from what I understand, does not change depending on your location. Meesha Shafi’s case was dismissed on a somewhat similar technicality – that as the people involved were not engaged in a standard employment contract, the workplace harassment act could not be invoked. Sexual harassment needs to be punished as a crime, regardless of where it took place. And as such, domestic violence, too, needs to be punished regardless of where it took place.
Pakistani society loves mothers, it dislikes female survivors of male violence and it absolutes abhors women who come forward with allegations
When it was clear that the public was shook by his wife’s allegations against him, Mohsin Abbas Haider gave a press conference. Claiming that he’d suffered having to wash his own clothes, that he was unhappy in his marriage and that his wife had scratched him, he gestured vaguely to his shoulder and, affecting modesty, said that he couldn’t show the marks there and then. It is interesting to note that a simple Google search of ‘Mohsin Abbas Shirtless’ suggests that pulling up a sleeve in front of cameras shouldn’t be such a big ask. That said – if and when an individual is willing to disrobe ought to be entirely up to them. His wife has now also come forward as well with her own press conference stating that her husband had hit her a few days after they were wed, suggesting that it was a common occurrence. She also stated that it was when he refused to be there for her son that she made the decision to go public.
There’s clearly been a lot of back and forth. People involved have been swearing on the Quran whilst making contradictory statements. Sohail mentioned the name of a model who she felt was the woman her husband was cheating on her with. The model came forward refuting the allegations. Haider accused Sohail of being a consistent liar, that she got those bruises falling down stairs, that her mother had an awful foul mouth, that her father thoughts she was a liar etc. This has been an incredibly ugly fight. And given the religious sentiments of the public, swearing on the Quran on television is highly dangerous. Particularly now as it seems someone has indeed lied on the Quran. In a country like Pakistan, where blasphemy can get you hung till death.
But amidst the media frenzy and our clutched pearls, there is one incontrovertible fact – that Fatima So hail was at some point covered in bruises. And she says her husband was the one to do it. This puts Mohsin Haider Abbas in a uniquely uncomfortable position. Pakistani society loves mothers, it dislikes female survivors of male violence and it absolutes abhors women who come forward with allegations.
People who support Mohsin are demanding proof, which is as per usual when you’re dealing with a case where a woman has come forward. The #MeToo movement demands that women be believed because we as women know that men do behave inappropriately and that it is next to impossible to find proof of it, and that those few women who do come forward with allegations are the only ones who suffer for it. So yes, everyone deserves due process, however, this is a glaring hole in the justice system – globally. And until and unless we find a way to deal with instances like this, I will believe the woman who has come forward. I believe Fatima Sohail.
The writer is a British writer, poet and businesswoman based in Karachi and London