The first thing that strikes one about language is the uncritical and excessive love and admiration people have for their mother tongue. Then, there is the ease with which native-speakers are able to communicate in their language, while foreigners struggle. Finally, it is the sheer number of languages and dialects in use. Native speakers see only the beauty and eloquence of their language and remain totally oblivious to its inadequacies, difficulties and complexities. Consider, for instance, a debate between a Sindhi and a Punjabi or a Bengali and an Urdu-speaker, regarding which is the better language. Or between a Japanese and a Chinese, or an Englishman and a Frenchman, or a Russian and a German. The debate will be intense, passionate and heated, but always inconclusive.
Language may be mankind’s greatest invention and alphabets the most astonishing single device. Consider this: the trillions of pages of books, reports and literature in English that educate, inform and entertain billions of people, propagate and promote concepts, theories and ideas, are composed with nothing more than 26 letters that are the building blocks of the English language in its totality. Nothing else but those 26 letters, used in an infinite number of combinations, employing typically 10 or fewer of them in words, are the basis of everything that was ever written in English. Words also produce trillions of hours of conversations and the most eloquent of speeches that can mesmerise audiences with the potential ability to drive them into a burst of constructive effort, a fit of destructive activity or a bout of murderous frenzy.
But every language comes with the heavy baggage of bizarre elements. Mention that to native speakers and they will be surprised. Take the script of Urdu, Arabic or Chinese, the spelling of English, or the grammar of French or Russian. Alphabets form words but most words written in Urdu are completely unrecognisable from the alphabets that constitute those words.
Russians consider it absolutely natural that someone’s name should mutate depending on its usage in a sentence because such is the case in Russian. But they find the spelling and pronunciation of English somewhat hilarious. In English, Russians say sarcastically, one writes London but reads it as Manchester. Russian language dispenses with “to be” in the present tense. Thus, “Moscow — capital of Russia”, rather than “Moscow is the capital of Russia”. Strangely, in Bengali too, one says and writes “Dhaka capital of Bangladesh”, rather than “Dhaka is the capital of Bangladesh”.
Every French noun must be preceded by an article, either masculine (le) or feminine (la). All well and good, until you find that a necktie carries the feminine article and a small handkerchief the masculine. It is not surprising that foreigners learn to speak English with relative ease, while French seems defiant. Consider the fact that most English verbs hardly conjugate in the present tense, except for adding the ‘s’ at the end. For example, the verb “to make” changes form for the third person singular only, becoming “makes”.
The equivalent French verb “faire” conjugates, depending on the person, into fais, fait, faisons, faites and font! It is somewhat the same in Russian. And while proper names remain unchanged in French, Russian takes liberties with names too, both animate and inanimate. So, depending on the case, Farid (masculine) will become Farida, Faridu, Faride and Faridom. Likewise, Farida (feminine) turns into Faridu, Faridi, Faridoi and Faride!
Abusive or swear words with sexist, racist, ethnic or sectarian connotations are the curse of every language. Some languages are better (or should I say worse) at it than others. I dare say that if there was a world championship for the most potent (mark my word) swear words, our very own Punjabi will be a very strong contender for the first prize. I suppose Punjabi will not just win first prize for the abuse delivered, but also in the manner of its delivery.
Imagine being dark-complexioned, as many of us are. Here are some of the English words or expressions still in use today that employ the word “black” to convey an undesirable characteristic: black spot, black day, black market, blackmail and black magic (most of them would have their equivalent in other languages). To insult and humiliate someone, one “blackens his or her face”. To smear or malign someone is to “blacken one’s name or reputation”. A “black day in history” is one that is covered in shame or ignominy but a red-letter day is a glorious one. The words red, white and green connote a positive aspect. One is “red-faced” from embarrassment and shame or “green with envy”. A brazen lie that can be seen through is a “white lie”. To whitewash something is to cleanse or conceal it.
Then we have this curious tendency to use euphemisms instead of the actual words. Thus, new words are constantly and disingenuously coined to describe the humble toilet in English: WC (water closet), bathroom, men’s (or women’s) room, restroom, etc. On the other hand, really ‘stinky’ words like “shit” and “crap” are freely used as metaphors for, well, something utterly bad.
If you can recall it, try using the Urdu word for toilet in polite company and see the reaction of those around you. You will never find them sitting next to you again. You will stink. The Urdu word in vogue for, guess what, is toilet, washroom or bathroom, anything but the word itself, which I will sidestep here lest readers desert me.
While some foul words have floundered on the bedrock of politeness, the four-letter ‘f’ word has flourished beyond belief. Having all but lost its original meaning, it is now so commonly and frequently used as to have gained acceptability all around. In fact, it may now be regarded as without equal in its versatility and the variety of its usages and meanings. If interested, search on YouTube “the most versatile word”. For a hilarious version, add the words “Indian teacher”.
Language is what people make it and of it. Mind your language all the same. But never mind. If you ever say anything that comes back to haunt you, do what politicians everywhere do all the time: deny ever saying it or say you were quoted out of context!
The writer is a former academic with a doctorate in modern history and can be contacted at www.raziazmi.com or [email protected]