Ramazan Mubarak. Ramadan Kareem. Ramzan Kareem. Ramadhan Mubarak. Sorry, I am just practising the various ways of wishing people on the commencement of this auspicious month. I do not wish to offend anyone — the ones who see themselves as ‘Bakistani’ or the ones who still say Khuda hafiz instead of the now-approved-by-most Allah hafiz. Nevertheless, it is here again, the month when we stretch our feet beyond our ‘chaddar’ (bedsheet), and indulge in displaying greed of all kinds. Shopkeepers would raise their prices; beggars would fool a few people to buy them monthly groceries, and go back to the same plaza to ask for more from different folks; women would spend their entire day preparing iftari, while men, mostly, would sleep away the afternoon. Sun would be as unforgiving as last year, great news for sherbet manufacturers; I suppose the alcohol providers would lie low this month, and perhaps even grow a beard to display piety. We would double up on our InshAllah and MashAllah, and watch Ramzan transmissions fervently, as if watching that would help us in occupying a spot in heaven. Yes, the month is here where we do most things to get a stamp of approval from society on our religiosity. A very few would introspect, and then correct their lifestyle, but simplicity would evade us this month for we have chosen to make it all about opulence. It is just a month of commerce and socialising for many; after Eid we all plan on going back to our old corrupt ways. Most of our days would be spent watching TV, especially prior to the breaking of the fast; celebrities would turn into hosts for Rooh-e-Ramzan, Nisbat-e-Ramzan, or similarly titled programmes. Their guests would include the regular TV maulanas, actors who were morning show regulars before Ramzan, and a person with a sad story for whom they would ask for donation from the audience. This person would mostly belong to an economically lower class family, and producers of the show would play an audio-video package to highlight his family’s grief, and then bring them on the show. An equally sad piece of background music would be played with everyone, from the host to the live audience, shedding tears for this ‘victim’ of bad times. And this segment would get most of the eyeballs; I have cried many times watching people like a rickshaw driver talk about his inability to provide for his family. All Ramzan transmissions would have one poor person as a guest to help their ratings: make moolah utilising the plight of the downtrodden. In our society we haven’t done charity till we have sung about it many times and advertised it loudly; TV shows practise the same ideology. These shows also teach us greed; participants live audience fights each other to win an embellished J. tunic, a cannister of ghee (clarified butter) or a gift hamper from one of the mobile phone companies. Answer questions on Islam, and win big materialistically, for who would be interested in acquiring knowledge if there isn’t a bag of goodies waiting for us at the end? Wisdom? That’s for people who lived in the caves and not us. This month is all about gluttony as well; eat as much as you can, have the most number of iftar dishes on your table to make your neighbours jealous, and throw grand sehri get-togethers to solidify your standing in your circle. And yes, the Islamic Republic of Pakistan would be totally inconsiderate to its minorities and also the Muslims who wouldn’t be fasting: it becomes very hard to find food outside in restaurants or get it delivered before sunset. There is a hidden but growing minority of young Muslims who don’t fast perhaps out of rebellion or their inability to go hungry for long, but are forced to lie about it since they fear backlash. We would continue to push religious injunctions down people’s throats rather than allowing them the margin to discover it at their own pace. So yes, the pious month is here, and after four weeks, like every year, most of us will have made no changes to our environment or behaviour. We would continue to lie in our relationships, business and other official matters; society would continue to live for others; direct connection to God or having a clean conscience would hold no true meaning. There is a hadith in Sahi Bukhari: “Whoever does not give up false statements and evil deeds…Allah is not in need of his [fasting] leaving his food and drink.” Most of us have evolved into ‘Ramzan Muslims’ even on social media, and much like the failed New Year’s resolutions of everyone, we fail each year to improve on our relationship with Ramzan as well. The writer is a freelance columnist with a degree in Cultural Studies and a passion for social observation, especially all things South Asian. She tweets @chainacoffeemug