I shut off my laptop and exclaimed with joy ‘My ticket has been confirmed’ My friend sitting across the room peering into her phone looked up ‘It’s good that you will get to meet your family but do you really think it is safe to go to Karachi in the current situation ?’ ‘I know it’s not safe with the COVID 19 cases rising every day there but I need to see my family, hug my father, smell the fragrance of my mom’s embrace, chatter and indulge in banter with my siblings in person, not on a zoom call’ ‘Yeah, I can relate to how you feel, my entire family is in interior Sindh, they don’t even have Internet connection, so the times I get to talk to them are few and far between, I miss them a lot but I will stall meeting them till the situation normalises’ ‘They will understand, I’m sure’, saying this I started rummaging through my closet to look for clothes which I had to pack for my trip. Due to the widespread COVID 19 cases in the country, I had not bought any new clothes. This was a time to celebrate a simple Eid and show solidarity with those people who were struggling to put food on their tables. I was just packing my old clothes for Eid along with some sandals and bangles. I had left Karachi, my home, around a year ago, to come and study in Lahore in one of the most prestigious universities in Pakistan. I had been elated and overjoyed while leaving Karachi to start my university life, a life of freedom and independence. As the months passed by, I missed Karachi more and more every day. I loved the freedom I had but I missed my family and friends, the sea breeze, the hustle and bustle, the lights everywhere, boat basin with its delicious and easy on the pocket food, the yummy doodh pati at Chai Wala, the spiciest of biryani at Burns road and even the dirty beaches with their stench of fish. I felt butterflies in my stomach, I would be meeting my family after a year, Karachi wouldn’t be the same due to the present conditions after the rise in coronavirus cases, I won’t really be able to move freely but just the thought of seeing my parents after so long made everything seem okay. I had several nights of anxiety and paranoia, in the past 3 months, I was living in the dorms, my roommate who had become a good friend of mine over time used to consume sleeping pills, so while I couldn’t sleep at night, I had really no one talk to. I didn’t want to disturb my family back home by telling them that the lockdown situation had given me extreme anxiety and had instigated an impending sense of doom. The thoughts of apocalypse and a wipe out of humanity had been inflicted by reading all the negative social media news. After a while, I tried to keep away from the news and find solace in talking to the Almighty all the time. However all these feelings of uncertainty, unpredictability, anxiety and paranoia would have a resting phase when I meet my family, the solace I’m seeking was waiting for me in Karachi. I called my mother to inform her about the good news ‘Ammi, I’m coming home for Eid’ ‘That’s great beta, but I’m concerned about your safety, please be careful meri bachi, keep your mask on, keep a sanitizer with you at all times and wear gloves’. ‘Ammi, I’ll be okay, don’t worry, I will follow all the SOPs, I just want to get there as soon as possible, can’t wait to meet you and Abbu, it’s been so long, I miss you’ ‘I miss you too beta’ My luggage had been checked in, I had one small hand carry with me while I was scurrying to the boarding counter. The airport in the post corona times seemed peculiar, everyone was wearing a mask, people were standing far apart from each other even in the queues, I was relieved to see proper SOPs being followed. I took out my cell phone while I was standing in the queue waiting for my turn , I opened my whatsapp to send a message to my family who had been incessantly messaging and calling to know my whereabouts. The message read ” I’m done with the check in and security clearance, it feels surreal that I will be meeting you guys in a few hours, can’t wait!’ I clicked send on the message on the family whatsapp group. Within seconds, my phone started ringing ‘ Beti jaan, I’ve been calling you since morning, saw your message that you’re about to board ‘ ‘ Jee Abbu, sorry I’ve been so busy and my phone was in my handbag, just took it out’ ‘ Safely board the plane and give me a call once you’re inside and on your seat, can’t wait to see my darling daughter’ It was my turn, I got my boarding pass torn from one end at the counter by the official and started my walk to the plane through the conduit. I could feel the spring in my every step, the walk of joy and pure happiness, Karachi was just a few hours away. The air hostess guided me towards my seat, it was an aisle seat, my favourite, I could see the take off and watch the clouds after that; which was the most relaxing view for me while being on a plane. The doors of the plane had been closed, the airplane crew staff was making the final safety checks. I fastened my seat belt and started reciting all the prayers and invocations that I had learned by heart. The plane started its ascend, we were in the air, the roads and buildings of Lahore seemed like pieces in a Lego set, so minuscule, I wondered is that how the Higher Power sees us when It looks from above. Whenever I was high in a plane and I looked down, it helped me gain perspective, made me realise how insignificant we were. The plane was gliding now, I could see the clouds below, they appeared like cotton candy, as a child, I had a fantasy to float in the clouds. Now as an adult, I just felt tranquility looking at them. I was positively famished now and waiting for the air hostess to come and serve my meal, even though I was not a big fan of food on the air plane but my hunger pangs had the better of me at that moment. The air hostess was headed in my direction with the food trolley, I was sitting in anticipation of devouring some rice and chicken, which was usually served on that particular air carrier. She placed the food tray, I quickly removed the tin foil to find potatoes and grilled chicken, I had hoped for something else but I was too hungry to complain. As soon as I was done with my meal, I took out a novel from my bag and started reading, this was my favourite form of in flight entertainment. My eyes were getting heavy and droopy, with a wave of slumber coming upon me. I was awakened by the sound of the pilot’s announcement, we were about to land on Jinnah International Airport in a few minutes, all the passengers were being asked to fasten their seatbelts. I could see from my window the view of Karachi, my hometown, my place of belonging, it looked resplendent in all its glory. I felt happy and excited, soon I would be off from the plane and reunited with my family. The plane had started its descent, I felt a little queasy, landings were always a little unsettling for me. The plane was coming down a little too fast towards the runway, we were about to land, I was reciting prayers continuously, we were almost on the runway but then there was a strange sound of something being scraped and the plane jolted vigorously. It started to ascend again, I was baffled, why were we not landing? I looked around me and I could see worried, panicked faces of passengers, children crying, their mothers trying to console them. The pilot made another announcement ‘ Due to some technical difficulties, we could not make a proper landing on Jinnah International Airport, we will be trying again shortly, don’t panic and keep your seatbelts fastened.’ What was that supposed to mean? What kind of technical difficulties? There was a lot of turbulence, the plane kept swaying and I could see settlement below, we were too close, the plane was dwindling downwards. My breathing was irregular, all I could hear around me were people screaming, children bawling, the sound of prayers. Flashbacks and visions were appearing right before my eyes, my father bringing me my favourite baked goods back on his way from office, my mother gently massaging my hair, my sister lying next to me while she stroked my cheek and my brother playing cricket with me. I was walking towards a light in a long tunnel and I felt my body afloat, I was finally floating in the clouds and living my childhood fantasy. Inspired by True Events A tribute to the passengers of Flight 8303 The writer is the recipient of the Hague University of Applied Sciences International Award. She can be reached at sheebaasad106@gmail.com