While touring Sao Paolo in Brazil, I came to know that on seeing the waterfalls at Iguacu, Eleanor Roosevelt (the wife of President Franklin D Roosevelt), had exclaimed: “Poor Niagara.” We had seen Niagara Falls up close in a boat. They were incredible. So, for the US first lady to have made that comment about the Iguacu Falls meant they were a must-see. Fact-checking the Roosevelt remark, I discovered that the Niagara Falls on the border of the US and Canada were a third shorter in height than the falls at Iguacu, which lie at the juncture of three countries: Brazil, Argentina and Paraguay. More importantly, the Iguacu Falls constituted the largest waterfall system in the world consisting of some 270 individual falls and islands. In the native langue, Iguacu means ‘Big water’. As it typical with such natural wonders, they are the subject of legend. A deity had planned to marry a beautiful woman only to discover that she already had a mortal lover. On learning of the deity’s desires, the woman fled with her lover in a canoe. The enraged deity sliced the Iguacu River, creating the waterfalls, and ‘condemning the lovers to an eternal fall’. We booked a flight to Foz do Iguacu on the local carrier TAM. The seating was really crammed but the flight was mercifully short. We landed in Iguacu only to discover that the primitive airport had no Jetway. In the native langue, Iguacu means ‘Big water’. As it typical with such natural wonders, they are the subject of legend. A deity had planned to marry a beautiful woman only to discover that she already had a mortal lover. On learning of the deity’s desires, the woman fled with her lover in a canoe. The enraged deity sliced the Iguacu River, creating the waterfalls, and ‘condemning the lovers to an eternal fall’ Our tour guide was waiting for us at the end of the tarmac. She spoke good English and told us that she would drive us to the falls. The show had begun. There was no sign of a river, let alone the falls, at the place where she dropped off. Instead, there was a thick and verdant jungle and a sign that read “Safaris.” I wondered whether we had come to the wrong continent. We asked her if she would come to see the falls with us. She said no, gave us the tickets, and pointed to a green Jeep. We showed our tickets to the driver and got in it. He drove us through a thick jungle to the landing place. The river was visible several feet below. We walked down the steps to the place where the boat was docked. We noticed that everyone was taking off their clothes and changing into swimming suits in the open. We had no swimming suits with us. No one had told us to bring them. We bought plastic ponchos to cover ourselves just in case. On the boat were some dozen other passengers, including two young couples on their honeymoon, a man from India, and people from around the world. The captain stood next to the wheel and asked us to don orange life vests. I noticed that a video camera was trained on us. The boat began its journey upstream on the Iguacu River but there was no sign of the falls. Now we began to see some boats returning presumably from the falls. The people on the boats were soaking wet but seemed elated. The waters became choppy. It was then that I realised that our vessel was really a zodiac craft made of rubber. There were big rocks in the middle of the river and the captain was doing his best to avoid hitting them. Then we came to a bend in the river and saw the countless falls in all their fury. A white mist filled the air in the distance. As we moved closer, the waters began to swirl. What had begun as a smooth ride had turned nasty. There were rocks and rubber boats everywhere. Now we were within a hundred feet of the falls. The captain took the boat past several curtains of water. We felt the energy of the falling water. All of a sudden, without warning, our boat went through a water curtain. The water hit us on the head with torrential force. We were now “inside” the falls. Everyone on the boat except us was presumably a swimmer and enjoying the encounter. Now the captain began to repeatedly move boat in and out through the curtain as the passengers cheered him on. Finally, he had had enough. He turned the boat around to take us back to the dock. We were soaking wet, despite the ponchos. We got off the boat, thanked our stars that we had made it back in one piece, discarded the ponchos, and began climbing the steps back to the jeep. The jeep took us back to the place where we had begun our journey. Our tour guide was waiting for us. She asked us what we thought of the boat ride and we gave her our candid impressions: “The ride was great until he decided to cut in and out through the water curtains.” I said such behavior was illegal in the US. She waved a Brazilian smile. We walked over to the restaurant, bought our lunch, and sat outside in the patio. We were a tad uncomfortable since our clothes were soaking wet. I had learnt my lesson. Never wear jeans when going to see the falls, they can hold a lot of water. Thankfully, the patio was hot and windy and our clothes were dry by the time lunch was finished. We walked over to view the waterfalls from several platforms that had been built specifically for that purpose. They were stellar views. On the other side of road was a pink hotel which was ideally suited for spending the night. We asked the guide if this was our hotel. She said no, it was sold out. She had booked us a room in a hotel in town. About 20 minutes later, she dropped us off at what appeared to be an old apartment building. What is this? This is your hotel, it has comfortable rooms and a nice restaurant. I will pick you up in the morning for your flight to Rio. Well, it turned out to be a hotel to remember for all the wrong reasons. The lift had a special door that we could not open. Our room had a special door that would not open. And once we had overcome those obstacles with assistance from the staff, and entered our room, we found it had the weirdest bed ever: it was covered with bed sheets or comforters. We called the front desk and encountered an impenetrable language barrier: they spoke in Portuguese and we spoke in English. Just when we were preparing to sleep on the uncovered bed my wife discovered that the sheets and pillows were in one of the closets. We ordered room service over the phone but the language barrier reappeared. So we went downstairs and tasted the amazing cooking of Brazil. Breakfast the next morning was equally good. It is amazing how much one can do with sign language. As our plane lifted off for Rio the next morning, we got a last glimpse of the falls. The Iguacu Falls had truly put the wondrous Niagara Falls to shame. That was no mean achievement. The writer can be reached at ahmadfaruqui@gmail.com Published in Daily Times, May 4th 2018.