Dera Ismael Khan incident where an orphan girl was forcibly paraded naked by a group of men with weapons has been under discussion in media for the past few days. Before the situation could settle down, a renowned social worker visited the victim’s house and appeared before the media after symathising with her family. While talking to media, the social worker described the minutest details of how it all had happened. The unabated description of the event on media must have caused further agony to the girl. The victims’ ordeals are used in Pakistan by certain public figures as an opportunity to get relevance. Sometimes the media needlessly highlights an issue in a way so as to get high ratings. I still remember the incident when a mosque’s roof collapsed and a man was sitting and praying for his son’s safety when a journalist approached him and asked how he was feeling. Knowing very well that what can be the feelings of a father who isn’t sure whether the son will be back alive or not, asking such a question is shameful. The grieving people in pain and agony are captured crying and mourning by the media without the slightest realisation that sorrow grief is something personal. As a society, when we look at the culture traditions and values, it is clear that sympathy and care at homes exist, but the core skill of empathy is usually missing. In the words of Alfred Adler, “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of anthers, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” The key place for learning and experiencing these situations are schools. The first and most important skill to be developed is empathy, that is to put one self in others’ shoe. Then comes the growth mindset which includes looking at difficult incidents, both pleasant or unpleasant. Learning experience focusing on a better behaviour next time, third is self awareness that how emotions can drive, embarrass, frustrate etc. As a society, when we look at cultural traditions and values, it is clear that sympathy and care at homes exist, but the core skill of empathy is usually missing. In the words of Alfred Adler, “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of others, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another” The system of education at schools, colleges and our universities is mostly focused on reading, writing and reproducing the already read material. There are certain clubs and societies mostly focusing on oratory, reading, writing, skills with the selected students like the ones who are already performing well academically and in co curricular activities. Behaviour control under certain emotions is rare, as usually some of the teachers themselves are a blend of extreme attitudes at times. There used to be girl guides and boy scouts programs in schools which provided an opportunity to the students to interact among themselves for a cause or problem voluntarily and also with people in trouble, affected by disasters or traumas. These volunteer set ups would inculcate the self management and people management qualities and of course that was done in the supervision of a mentor. These boys and girls would defiantly exhibit better skills in the higher educational streams as well. But it is unfortunate that in the absence of a unified system of education at state level, we are witnessing a lack in development of these key skills among students. There is a dire need to focus and incorporate these skills among individuals so that firstly they come up with sensitivity and quality of empathy, and once they are in professional life they would know how to handle the situations as per its sensitivity. Schools, no matter private, public or Madaris (religious seminaries), must address and incorporate the element of personal skills with hands on experience rather than verbal talk. The personal skills are generally integrated with religious studies. I think integration with everyday life examples in the language and social sciences can be equally beneficial. The media, as the most effective tool, though a teenager of course comprises the products of the same system. Journalism has been a prestigious profession as journalists are the opinion makers and have a deep impact upon masses and heir behaviours. However, since basic skills of personal management in the media are missing, it is very much visible when reporters cover incidents of crimes and violence involving victims and grieved families. Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority (PEMRA) needs to be firm with its policies and rules and regulations as far as the airing of content about sensitive issues is concerned. Moreover, there should be certain checks and balances by TV channels and notices of parental guidance in cases where victims are abused or have been insulted and humiliated. Secondly, journalists need to be trained on reporting of sensitive issues of gender and faith-based violence. Civil society organisations can play their role in raising awareness among masses as well as sensitising journalists through by holding sessions to discuss such issues. Finally, state must understand its role in this regard and take some concrete steps towards rehabilitation and psycho-social support of the victims of any traumatic incident. State and society must extend support to the depressed victims of traumatic incidents, so that they may be able to come back to normalcy with dignity and respect. The writer has experience in the field of education and is currently working as a resource person in the development sector Published in Daily Times, November 27th 2017.