When a friend of mine moved to the US last year, he was not pleased to meet a segment of the Pakistani community living in Indiana. He was of the opinion that his old friends, people who he had known for decades and had grown up with, had embraced the values of their adopted homeland in a rush without having any deep insight. That they sometimes behaved more like Americans than Pakistanis was shameful enough, but other times they acted even more like Americans than the actual Americans, which was totally insane. He thought their children, second generation Pakistani Americans, would be lost without having a strong bond with their heritage, and would fail to identify themselves with their roots like a free floating boat without an anchor. It was obvious that he was alluding to the acronym of ‘ABCD’ with that comment, which stands for American Born Confused Desis, a derogatory term for the children of subcontinental parents including India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. With some bitterness and disappointment, he would veritably refer to them as being more loyal to the king than the king himself! Religion, in his view, which once played a vital role in their everyday lives and was the driving force in determining their moral character, had lost its significance, if not completely forgotten. Even when they claimed to believe in it and followed its major guidelines, he found that the Islamic spirit and the passion for religion were still missing. On the other hand, and to his added disappointment, their adopted values were more superficial and their code of ethics mechanical. There was no element of spirituality left in their lives, a loss that cannot be replaced with material gains no matter how big. Before being transferred to the US, he had lived in the Far East, UK and Pakistan, spending a few years in every country. “British Pakistanis are more Pakistanis, more attached with the country of their origin,” he said one day at the dinner table. “They always think of Pakistan first.” At another time he added, “In any part of the world, I have never seen a Pakistani community so abrasive of our point of view as here.” To be honest, he is not alone in developing this perception about Pakistanis settled in the US, nor was he the first one sharing his opinion with us. Another friend of mine reminds me all the time that the reason we (Pakistani Americans) do not criticise any US foreign policy blunders whether it is the war in Iraq, the unconditional support of Israel against Palestinians, or the US approved invasion of Saudi Arabia in Bahrain, is because we are scared of losing our ‘newly adopted’ and arrogantly displayed nationality. Putting it bluntly, he says, “It is much more important for us than anything else, including my religion, the country of our birth and maybe even our family members in Pakistan. There are others too, who believe and comment, “While no one can the change the colour of their skin, after the change in the colour of passports from green to blue, Pakistani Americans assume they can change (hide) their identities.” To some extent this may be true — there are lots of Pakistanis I have met over the years who are scared of being monitored by the US government. There are reports that the mosques are being monitored, and rumours that there are FBI agents within every Muslim community who report to the authorities about any ‘suspicious behaviour’. Once scared, I can agree some innocent people would not criticise the US government’s policies even if they believe within their heart that the country’s policy could hurt their own long-term interests. Some may consider this fear to be genuine but others refer to it as paranoia. However, after the National Security Agency (NSA) leaks, their paranoia may indeed be real but that is not the point. My point is that fear is not the only factor that drives a huge number of people to vehemently support the US; it just cannot be. I think a majority of them in fact believe what they say they believe without hiding any negative sentiment. Pakistani Americans who have lived in this country of opportunities for years realise that, in their everyday experiences, they are not being discriminated against based on the colour of their skin, religion, ethnicity, gender or even sexual orientation. Their hard work is almost always appreciated and, regardless of their background, their assiduity is rewarded. From minor issues — minor only for us who belong to the subcontinent — like punctuality, to major legal issues like honesty, everything counts and is duly noted. Above all, if you are talented, then only the sky is your limit even if it means to be elected the president of the US or the governor of one of the largest states in the country. Their experience also reassures them that there is transparency in the system. With that I am not saying that it is present in absolute terms and corruption or nepotism has been 100 percent eliminated. Instead, what I am suggesting is that, in most instances, people do not come across unnecessary favouritism, misconduct or discrimination, and that experience encourages them to expect the same level of impartiality and caution in the highest offices of the government. What they gather from their experience is that everyone makes mistakes and that nations are not free from them but great nations admit their past mistakes; they learn from them and attempt to mend them. Both countries, Pakistan as much as the US, need that eye of introspection to build a stronger future together. The writer is a US-based freelance columnist. He tweets at @KaamranHashmi and can be reached at skamranhashmi@gmail.com