Daily Times

Against the backdrop of pre-Islamic women being traded as mere chattels in the Arabian Peninsula, the Holy Quran’s concept of Mehr (4:4) was both liberating and redemptive. For the first time, a religion was asking its believers to respect the woman they were tying the wedding knot with; give her monetary security for the rainy days. If nothing else, the gift would simply help keep a tight rein on the capricious practices of polygamy and divorce. Alas! 1400 years later, we are still going in circles; tossing around ways to avoid something that even our Holy Prophet was ordained to pay. Recently, an interesting case brought before the Lahore High Court wanted relief from transferring the house given in Mehr. Justice Anwar Hussain took it upon himself to educate the public about the most important clause of a Muslim marriage covenant. While the honourable judge should be appreciated for throwing light upon this legal requirement in the most elaborate manner possible, our general lack of awareness is deeply infra dig. Furthermore, we make the most of the missing floor of this obligation in Shariah. The amount agreed upon in most marriages is nothing but a joke. Compare the unbelievable pomp and show in our desi weddings with the unbelievably minuscule Mehr (Rs 500, at times). Why invest in something asked of us by Allah himself when we can squander wads of cash on glitz and glamour!

A typical Pakistani wedding is just a saga of senseless traditions and extravagant decor. Miles away from everything dictated by both our law and the state religion. The Dowry and Bridal Gift Act 1967 caps the usual out-of-reach dowry at Rs 5000. The immensely crippling list of demands stands in stark contrast to Islam that has no concept of dowry whatsoever. Though those hell-bent on attributing the practice to Sunnah often quote the example of Hazrat Fatima, they conveniently overlook the fact that the cost of those gifts was borne by Hazrat Ali. Similarly, the Supreme Court tried limiting the lavish menu and unnecessary decorations at weddings. However, there is always a way to steer clear of such laws.

Now, our fixation with patriarchal norms doesn’t simply end at weddings. A Pakistani marriage is diametrically opposed to the Holy Prophet’s much-revered elevation of women to legal and social equality. Because the anti-women practices start way before the exchange of vows and continue for a lifetime. A society that takes great pride in the noose of marriage strung around its women conveniently looks the other way when their fairytale dreams are toppled in an instant. An estimated 5000 women are killed from domestic violence every year. Thousands more are disabled. With husbands chopping off noses, fracturing bones and even axing women to death, no wonder Pakistan is regarded as the third-most dangerous country for females. This is not to say we do not have laws in place to protect women, their sanctity, their respect and even their finances. But the wild obsession of forcing Pakistani women to build the foundation of their homes on utter selflessness remains the biggest glass ceiling. “Once a woman leaves her mother’s house as a bride, she can only return in a coffin,” continues to haunt millions of young girls when they should be happily feeling the flutter of butterflies. *