Daily Times

Dear Mathira and Rose

I am a 32-year-old girl and have two kids; a six and a one-year-old and I just found out that I’m pregnant again. Yes, Alhamdullilah. It’s not like I’m being ungrateful but the main thing that’s bothering me right now is how do I break the news to all? I mean, how do I tell them I’m expecting again? What will people say? They’d think I got nothing better to do but make babies. Once, one of my aunts remarked that in Pakistan, girls only make babies after getting their degrees. That really got me, you know. Now, what will everyone think considering there’s such a small gap between my second child and now the third? I can’t find the courage to announce the news. Also, I’m so upset being pregnant and handling a toddler at the same time. What shall I do? Help.

Regards,

Third-Time Mommy

Mathira’s Advice:

You need to get a babysitter on board if you can. If you can’t, take a deep breath. Just remember one thing, you’re pregnant which is a blessing. What will people say, why will they say it and what is the reason behind them saying it? They’ve got nothing to do with it. All you need to focus on is yourself and your toddler. The good thing is, the last two children will grow up as best friends. You just need to hug your husband and tell him you’re pregnant. Why’re you thinking about the world? The world will always keep talking. Family members keep talking. They’ll discuss you at length and then say, what do we have to do with it? They’ll talk about you even if you’re a saint. You got a baby coming and you need to relax. Take a deep breath and just enjoy the moment, you know. Don’t worry. Being a mother’s very hard but it has its yays and nays together. But in the end, it turns out for you well. You’re going to raise three beautiful humans who’ll be ready to change this toxic mindset and make the society a better place. This is how everyone should raise their kids. So darling, congratulations and God bless you.

If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira

Rose’s Advice:

First of all, congratulations. By God’s Grace, you’ve two children. One of them is six, the other’s almost two and now you’re expecting again. Let me tell you that of course, babies are a handful, as with a baby comes a lot of responsibility. But then, it’s good news and you should just break the news about your pregnancy. They’re going to find out eventually. I don’t see a point in hiding it. What people would think shouldn’t matter to you. It’s your baby and your bundle of joy. You and your husband will be changing the diapers, planning the future and investing in the baby, not them. So what an aunty is saying, or a khala is saying or a phupho is saying shouldn’t matter to you. What should matter is that you and your partner are happy and content. As long as you’re happy, you’re actually going to care about what people think? If you’ll care that much, you’ll never even be able to smile. If you’re pregnant, just smile and announce it over a box of mithai. You know what? Let people think what they want to think as long as you’re happy. Three’s a crowd so they’re going to be a handful but I’m sure you’re an amazing mom and you’re going to get through with it.

If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777