Incredulity

Author: Junaid Javed

She lost the will to live; she would always harm herself and find ways to stay in continuous pain. She thought maybe the world isn’t good enough to be lived in. Her eyes stopped looking at the positive things; they would find the worst to focus on. She thought maybe the people around her are fake, they are there for their own selfish reasons, which is quite relatable. She would disobey God in every way possible, thinking He would get pissed off and punish her or kill her. She would act ungrateful towards His blessings, she would spill her blood, curse herself, deny that she is the prettiest of all. She did all just because she wanted Allah to kill her. You know what made her like this?

It’s not her fault all. Nobody wants to cry day and night over themselves, be disobedient to their master and push themselves through all the pains. It was people around her who wouldn’t care for her. When she was growing up, no one taught her life, no one told her what to do, no one would keep a loving hand. All I can do is wander wondering what made her like this. Maybe when she was growing up something happened; she saw something she shouldn’t have, someone broke her trust, or maybe many broke her trust. Maybe someone broke her heart? Maybe it’s her family? It could be anything.

But why doesn’t she realise that Allah is the most merciful and benevolent? That the more she would disobey Him, the more He is going to bless her. The more she hates Him, the more He would love her back. He loves her more than 70 mothers, He goes through more pain each time she cuts herself. He cries more everytime she cries in pain. He will bless her with the best people to be friends with but, unluckily, she would always try to push them away. She wouldn’t accept any of His blessing and He wouldn’t stop either. They both are in a continuous war, He blessing, she denying. But little does she know that He never loses.The sooner she realises, the better it is for her. He won’t let her miseries go uncompensated. He would make sure she gets equal happiness, she forgets all her regretsand she doesn’t know how close she is to her creator. He loves his creation, but loves those more who strive. She is in a continuous Jihad with herself.

She is the greatest of all, I admit. I won’t tell her to be patient; she already is. I won’t tell her anything because she believes in practicality. Words don’t mean anything to her. Darkness is what she loves now. Look what we have done to her, look what we have done to an amazing girl.

I still see the remains of her past in her words, when she involuntarily feels for things but then suddenly stops. She has indurated herself but I see the beauty in her and always will.

As human beings, we should all stand against women abuse and make sure we are not involved in it. Love them, for they carry us in themselves or we wouldn’t have had been in this world.

The blogger – a student of Economics and Finance at the Lahore School of Economics – takes keen interest in sports, debates and writing.

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