Daily Times

It was a scene that would not be out of place on the Real Housewives of ISIS, the satirical BBC sketch show aired at the beginning of the year. Picture this: amid the snide comments about who wears a suicide vest the best — the camera flips to zoom in on an American president’s meeting with a couple of Moscow reps looking to buy some goodies on the black market. The president, in a bid to impress his homeboy who is well . . . back home . . . starts boasting, in true Goodness Gracious Me fashion, about where he picks up the best freebies. Yet there is no cheque to be paid. Just payback.

For the whole world knows what happened next. President Trump leaked the identity of an intelligence source to those whom the NATO war machine — under the unofficial stewardship of his hawkish dove predecessor — has long been trying to recast as enemies of the state. Oh, those Russians.

Trump’s response was to play the field, packing his bags to head off to far-flung lands to charm other world leaders. What ensued was a farcical comedy of errors. Yet all the doubters who said he wouldn’t be able to bounce back were proved wrong. For the unquiet American isn’t known to do things by half.

No sooner had he sashayed on to the Riyadh red carpet with a First Lady flaunting her uncovered hair than social media went into clickbait frenzy at the notion of a recast Lady Liberty. Yet it was Trump who remained the one firmly stealing the show. He also pocketed loadsamoney when the Saudis whopped their wad on the counter. And yet, he still pulled out all the stops, making sure everyone got a little airtime. Or not. He found occasion to warmonger against Iran, refer to the elected representatives of the Palestinian people as a terrorist organisation, while fabulously guaranteeing that Pakistan was the talk of the summit by taking the unilateral decision not to tag it, not once. Though quite possibly this was more to do with confusion about which of the world’s two ideologically-founded states he was not supposed to mention by name to anyone. Understandably so, to be fair, given that neither of them is apparently in the Middle East. At least in the world according to Trump.

As Trump hops over to the NATO summit, the looming fear remains that he will once again threaten to take America out of the Alliance. If this were to happen — we would, perhaps, have to tune into an episode of the Real Allies of NATO to see how this goes down

And then he was off to the country that is not Pakistan. Given that this is America’s BFF in the region – the apprentice-president must have felt rather thwarted over that party pooping Netanyahu who saw fit to dash his hopes of a Mission Impossible-esque landing atop a particular UNESCO heritage site that has, among its ruins, King Herod’s palace. It really was a bit much. Even the Queen got herself a bit of helicopter action with James Bond at the London Games and neither emerged looking shaken or stirred. Still, all was not lost. Trump did manage to go out with quite the bang. Never, he theatrically claimed, did he name the Jewish state as the intelligent source he disclosed to those guys who like to go Putin’ on the Ritz. And so good did he think this line was — that he named Israel twice. Hai Bibi. Yet not once did he refer to the notion of a Palestinian statehood. Someone must have mixed up his cue cards. Damn those White House aides that he never goes anywhere without.

And as the president and his vagabond shoes now stray towards Europe, as they were always wont to do — it seems that this will be the continent hit hardest by the Trump maelstrom. For as he hops over to Brussels for a security summit the looming fear is that he will once again threaten to take America out of the Alliance. If this were to happen, it can only mean one thing: the bromance with the man from Moscow was anything but a summer jam. But we will, perhaps, have to tune into an episode of the Real Allies of NATO to see how that goes down. Anyone from the BBC listening?

The writer is the Deputy Managing Editor, Daily Times. She can be reached at mirandahusain@me.com and tweets @humeiwei