Daily Times

The entire world is patriarchal. Women, transwomen and all marginalized communities suffer in one way or the other amidst overt and covert inequities, injustices and imbalances with carefully managed justifications. Even today even in more civilized parts of the world (perception-wise) women in higher or senior official positions have to face many paradoxical circumstances and crises the least being their acceptance in any business communication of their own office. The surprised looks, the shock or disappointment found or ineffectively concealed on the faces of not only men who control most of the resources and rights but even many women on a podium, in a board room or a surgery is not a strange experience even in 2022.

Imagine the male privilege. Just being identified or officially documented as male gives that individual and at times to the families a higher rank and infinite benefits. While a woman in any rank has to prove her value and worthiness a man by virtue of just being a man has no reason to earn it until and unless he performs too idiotically or is exceptionally ill-fated. Men who do not take their “birth privileges” or appear too gentle or kind are very often ridiculed and taunted. At times, their “manhood” too is challenged. Such is the worth of maleness and endorsement for toxic and hegemonic masculinity that in a society where transgender people are mistreated and maimed without an iota of Allah’s fear, and gender dysphoria (that is not a mental illness) is seldom clearly understood even by the well trained and highly accomplished doctors (psychiatrists included) male to female transition is stigmatized and the reverse is celebrated.

Since our dear homeland is very much part of this globe and lies in a well-recognized patriarchal belt geographically gender and sex-related discriminations and biases are normative here. The outcomes of these “normalized” demeanours are sexual and gender-based violence where even minor girls, females with physical and mental disabilities and even sacred “mahram” relations are not spared. Those who raise these issues are very often looked down, blamed as anti-state, anti-religion and paid activists. Whereas the politics of Ngoization of social development, startups and donor-driven agendas cannot be completely regarded as baseless this dimension needs to be separately discussed and dissected. Additionally, its existence does not exclude the prevalence and incidences of unabashed acts of violence against women, girls and children and even more unashamed silence and support for such crimes in the name of dress code, interpretation of religion, faith, culture and selective application of the morality lens.

The most recent news report of the alleged rape of a 22-year-old US woman citizen has appeared as the last nail in the coffin of our collective conscience.

Thousands of women and girls are annually, reportedly abducted, raped, gang-raped, incest raped, murdered, pushed to commit suicide, and forced into transactional and or unhappy marriages (which are beside the “child marriages” that I prefer to call child abuse), exploited to settle tribal and family disputes, and make to live with mental torture, trauma and financial dependencies. They only become a statistic for the PowerPoint presentations of the social development industry, low priority content not the headline for newspapers and news shows and the researchers following academic careers and goals. How much money is spent for prevention, prosecution, reintegration and rehabilitation of the victims of violence can be gauged from the resources allocation and monetary volume of the budgets of nearly all organizations in the private, public and voluntary sectors! Blue tick/verified social media accounts of brilliant activists, police officers, civil servants, legislators etc. are neither salvation, a substitute nor for actual service for the victims.

As if Pakistan’s continued inexcusable placement on human development and gender inequality indices was not enough to initiate an urgent call for action among the media houses, political parties, government machinery including autonomous women machinery and the civil society ( if there is any left in the country that is fearless and without any conflict of interest), the most recent news report of the alleged rape of a 22-year old US woman citizen has appeared as the last nail in the coffin of our collective conscience.

Like any other Pakistani with alive and unbiased principles, my head too hangs in shame and my heart is crying. My soul is mourning not only for this daughter but for all daughters who are unsafe everywhere. And my elegy does not end here. I bewail most of the men of our country. What kind of DNA do they have? What has gone wrong with them while their mothers were raising them with immense joy and pride? I look at the accomplishments of so many Pakistani women in nearly all fields of life. Many achieved remarkable success despite culture, gender, poverty and other barriers. I had been saying this for the last many years and I cannot be more convinced than now that it is time to invest in our boys and men. Our governments should immediately set up departments/provincial ministries for men’s development. Men have to deactivate their “temptation” and their view of women as “objects, bodies, breasts and vaginas”. They have to learn to live in a co-environment and with empowered women. We as Pakistanis have to stop creating limitations for women and issuing official orders that they cannot be seen in public or vote according to their choice and have to follow a certain code of dress, volume of voice etc. It is time not to bar women from going out but to instruct(even authoritatively if required ) our brothers -our boys to behave.

The writer is a published author and Gender Equality, Social Inclusion and Public Health Expert.