Daily Times

Sometimes you gotta be your own hero and save your heart. Because the people you can’t imagine living without can actually live without you.

For those of you who make your life a sack of tragedies must be set free and you are the one who must be punched in the face. It’s sad when people you know become people you knew. Witnessing change in the people you know is not what hurts, what hurts is remembering who they used to be. When you walk right past someone like they were never a part of your life; how you used to talk for hours and now you barely even look at them; how an incident, be it a misunderstanding or a betrayal, takes on such a hideous face that we don’t have the forte to face the people we once cherished the most.

We all have a friend that we revere the most. Somewhere between the long talks and stupid little fights we fall in love. The bond with time becomes so strong that we are aware of what he is going to say before he utters it.Now here’s where problems start. By the time that person becomes our weakness misunderstandings start to build up, thanks to a third person. We begin to complain, and slowly and steadily the fairy tale relation comes to an end, leaving us introvert.

Have you ever wondered that it’s not the fault of the person who betrays but us, who expect so much that we fail to understand the situation. We start loving a person the way they are. In the act of doing so we often become selfish and our acts are not purely for the love we once had but now it is supported by the thoughts like “ If I am doing this he will do that”, this is what expectations are. And when the person flunks to fulfill these “maybes” of ours, the relation weakens and slowly for the sake of love, the faults you once ignored in the start, become the reason for the mix-ups. It is when our minds start making up answers for the questions aroused from the confusions, itself without bothering to ask why the person did so, the bond wanes. We do not object at the minors and then something huge happens and we burst out, yelling every logical and illogical reason we can think of to blame the opposition and it ends. Everything is gone, the love, the concern.

The breakup hits us so hard that our certainty on relationships become shallow. After the depression phase we gradually come out of our cave and return to our social life, thinking that with time we have learnt to cope up with it. What we forget to comprehend is that even after ‘its over’ some events continue to haunt us.

Ever wondered what the after effects might be? No one gets mad. After you enter the circle again sooner or later new vibes are formed, perhaps stronger then the former but we face difficulty in entrusting the tie to the extent that it won’t hurt or leave us. The fear of loss increases to the level that second chance seems a risk we can’t afford to take. Forgetting who we actually are we give ourselves to the fear of being ditched again.

As a result our self-confidence shatters and we are unable to unleash our true selves. We work hard to gain back our momentum but as soon as the culprit passes by the memories come rushing to haunt us. Washing away the time we invested, and here we are heartbroken again.

The fusion of bitter and sweet memories tears us apart every time they arrive. Time does heal everything but it cannot wash away the drama we were once a part of. We do have the strength to live through our past but we are not strong enough to wash it away. A better remedy for soothing this trauma is not to forget but to move on.

Forgiving them is your gift to them and moving on is your gift to yourself.

The blogger is a student of BS (Hons) in Communication and Media Studies at Fatima Jinnah Women University.